Tuesday, April 29, 2014


Like so many of my decisions, it seemed like a good idea at the time.  Actually, that little ditty probably needs to go on  my tombstone.
Anyway...daughter's awards banquet was supposed to be this afternoon directly after work.  I decided to wear my comfy but snazzy new dress so that I would be all hip and fashionable.  It was made from lovely material with an attrative pattern:

And now my office chair looks like this:

I will be finding glitter in/on/around things 10 years from now.
Oh, and the awards ceremony was cancelled due to the potential bad weather.  I have contaminated my entire office for nothing.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Corner of chaos

You know that place?  The place in your house where clutter just seems to migrate?  And even when you're doing your "cleaning" you sort of skip over because it's sort of out of the way and not worth diving into at the moment?  That place where little odds and ends of things wind up scooted over to?

In my house, that place is the corner of my kitchen counter over by the phone and the calendar.  You can see this corner and all of its chaotic glory in this picture I had previously posted of Maxx checking the date on the calendar:

A goodly portion of the pile o' crap consisted of paper: cookbooks, takeout menus, steno pads and post-it pads, along with a few magazines and coupon flyers.  The stapler had apparently wandered away from the desk in the study as well.

This weekend, the kiddo was away visiting her future college campus and the variety of sorority spring events...and I decided to tackle the corner of doom and set it to rights.  Once I had the paper-y things cleared out and sorted, stacked or thrown out, I was left with this deitrus:

(You can click on the picture for a better view)

I really have no explanation for myself.

So what's in your area?  I'm wondering if anyone can top a magic wand and a jigsaw blade...but I'm curious.



Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Let's talk

Dear pimple on my nose:

Seriously??  What gives??  You realize I am FORTY-FOUR years old, right?  Why am I dealing with you? Is this AT ALL necessary?

I had no choice but to mash you...but now you are just redder and sore and I didn't even get anything to pop...I basically just made myself sneeze and my eyes water.  And I'll probably have some type of bruise on my nose in the morning.  Fabulous.

Oh?  And appearing on the day that I had to get the picture for my work badge renewed?  The one I will be living with for the next 5 years?  That was a nice touch.

Once you start getting wrinkles...you should STOP getting zits.  I'm just sayin.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Kill Joy

I like to have fun.  I do.  Really.
I don't like ruining a fun time for anyone else...honest.
But sometimes...sometimes, you have to take the scissors away from someone running amok.
When I married Jeff, I knew what I was getting into...and when we decided to procreate, I understood that I'd be getting something with half Jeff's DNA in the equation.
And I did.
And she is brilliant. And a little dangerous in her brilliance.
And her daddy?  Is her biggest supporter.  And that's GREAT.
But when the two of them sit down and watch a Tosh.O episode together where Tosh orders a mini-cannon and uses it to fire a .177" bb into his own fleshy tush? 
And then the child declares "I want one of those to use for my Rube Goldberg physics project!"
And Jeff rubs his hands together and starts chuckling like an evil scientist (or an evil scientist's father for that matter)?
Then, it behooves me to step in with a word of caution: "I don't think a mini cannon will be allowed."
But then the next day, the kiddo texts him with a message, "My teacher said the baby cannon is approved! I want a red one! No black!  And I want it ASAP!"
And his return message is "Fuse and cannon ordered! Due to be delivered next Monday!"
And I'm all: "No. No. No. No!!!"  "Stop!" "This will all end in tears!"
And so I'm printing off the spec sheets for the "baby" cannon and making her take it to the principal for approval. (It comes from a site called "Pocket Artillery")
It uses black powder.  There's no way these two knuckleheads are going to be able to go through with this.
P.S. You can also buy guillotines at the same site.  We're not getting one of those either.  The cats have no idea how much they owe me.  Nail clipping would have been a whole new world of terror.