tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22346618851276475802024-03-05T14:08:48.714-08:00PandoraSBoxHoping my goofy life will at least put a smile on a few faces every day.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.comBlogger197125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-88551808719882957742017-05-16T10:55:00.001-07:002017-05-16T10:55:31.869-07:00What's worse than a Sharknado?<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; font-size: 28px; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; font-size: 28px; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My daughter is visiting from Tuscaloosa this week. Her classes are finished and her summer job hasn't started yet. She came (with her cat and dog) to see me for Mother's Day and decided to spend a few days with us.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaADSWfgLPQ76xCDjATQVfJytwaYWeJqDd_Ca67ol9jMUXBegDnRlfQYu2TLxql7y2XFbS3cwNpK92ia2ngKEScXJZqWggolYwPdOsUqqXtr2c7KS87w0hYS9hKLTisH3cUwDbsAIUTvY/s1600/Nala.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaADSWfgLPQ76xCDjATQVfJytwaYWeJqDd_Ca67ol9jMUXBegDnRlfQYu2TLxql7y2XFbS3cwNpK92ia2ngKEScXJZqWggolYwPdOsUqqXtr2c7KS87w0hYS9hKLTisH3cUwDbsAIUTvY/s320/Nala.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Granddog: Sophi, Grandkitten: Nala. Not pictured: Nala's Megacolon)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Yesterday morning I gave my grand kitten her medicine that she has to take for her Megacolon. Megacolon is a real-live honest digestive problem and not a SyFy made-for-TV movie starring Brooke Hogan and Eric Roberts <em>(MEGACOLON VS. SHARKTOPUS!)</em> It takes many, many American dollars to diagnose and then further treat Megacolon. Nala (my grand cat) has had megacolon for about a year. If Nala doesn't get her medicine, she ends up constipated and has to be given an enema. Or three. This does not make ANYONE happy. </span><br />
Have you ever had to give a cat a bath?? Now imagine giving one an enema.</div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; font-size: 28px; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; font-size: 28px; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; font-size: 28px; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So anyway, it's in everyone's best interest to keep the mail moving (if you get my drift) and give her the regularly scheduled dosage of cisapride, her "motility" medicine. It's a liquid that she takes surprisingly well (much easier than an enema for sure). It does, however, produce toxic poop that should probably be reported to the Department of Homeland security so that it never, ever falls into the hands of America's enemies. Still better than giving a cat an enema.</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; font-size: 28px; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; font-size: 28px; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Unfortunately, after giving her the medicine, I didn't get the cap back on good and one of my heathens knocked it over, spilling all of it. All $65 of it, to be exact. And there I was, knowing that I was dealing with an extremely time-sensitive situation with potentially dire, dire consequences.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We got in touch with the vet that I use here in town, and while they did not have any cisapride on hand, they put me in touch with a compounding pharmacy that not only whipped up a batch of colon-cleansing miracle drug, they asked if Nala preferred bacon, beef or chicken flavoring.</span><br />
So...thank you, thank you, thank you to Cheaha Animal Hospital and to Cheaha Compounding Pharmacy for helping to prevent a (literal) shit-storm.</div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div style="color: #454545; font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; font-size: 28px; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</span><div style="color: #454545; font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; font-size: 28px; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-14878201398838558902016-08-11T13:27:00.002-07:002016-08-11T13:27:46.352-07:00Quirky, but cute<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Every animal in my house is quirky. (Am not discounting the two legged ones either.)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Today's blog post will be discussing the latest developments of "quirk" in my cat Maxx:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtgJfLzBnL6mPLfQlbrr40jN0z9SFt5i58WzNaL63zctM2ErE_yoM9xoJelwbKP08JwBqq_MUpmjpPJrxxyTmNz_9cwitpDExH1wqRl0PzoQT9XREIW8fGZqlQmgCioJxSZiBonAqUIs0/s640/blogger-image-1447055879.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtgJfLzBnL6mPLfQlbrr40jN0z9SFt5i58WzNaL63zctM2ErE_yoM9xoJelwbKP08JwBqq_MUpmjpPJrxxyTmNz_9cwitpDExH1wqRl0PzoQT9XREIW8fGZqlQmgCioJxSZiBonAqUIs0/s640/blogger-image-1447055879.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Maxx, as you can tell, is a laid-back dude.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-6CnEZ-hQYOZRf2g0XTpljUhUQpUaXH3pppinURCGRp5vYRXACQ9qNDWhjdM9rBfSj74u7LB-aV1jfatYrmtDy8E4Hu73HBaGzzSBXMpuD3s5RQ2zHCpOJbGnznzqXOqDllVfVva8OIA/s640/blogger-image--1948749016.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-6CnEZ-hQYOZRf2g0XTpljUhUQpUaXH3pppinURCGRp5vYRXACQ9qNDWhjdM9rBfSj74u7LB-aV1jfatYrmtDy8E4Hu73HBaGzzSBXMpuD3s5RQ2zHCpOJbGnznzqXOqDllVfVva8OIA/s640/blogger-image--1948749016.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Despite his overall zen personality, he has always had a penchant for bags and wrapping paper. He has always loved lurking among them and jumping out at passers-by.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhczQwQ8h18Lz88_awGb16lVBaCIKQlN0kzMjOKpEXcvhqsAOhbcBo-oUI34Sk8aXEHgAOlYuOgMhdnUh1xo3xK_VXBlazw9No3FLHJ2UBWwelmOnw769TqeetRfIJj5Pk-Xd0C_2hw_M/s640/blogger-image-39452593.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhczQwQ8h18Lz88_awGb16lVBaCIKQlN0kzMjOKpEXcvhqsAOhbcBo-oUI34Sk8aXEHgAOlYuOgMhdnUh1xo3xK_VXBlazw9No3FLHJ2UBWwelmOnw769TqeetRfIJj5Pk-Xd0C_2hw_M/s640/blogger-image-39452593.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Or, if lurking gets too tiresome, making himself a nest and sleeping on purchases. (Because there aren't beds, couches, chairs or soft cat beds available to sleep on.)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTARtIboT_xNuIw-L4hUQDRYv_K55PmMxaICnaJkU64TlxxarHnyHIR0neHAG6npX5eiYq2sl-x6tvVv3CHBkprc6MMvnR815cFn_Td3kwMhNvUB8NF-iZcmeMBmb93IlntILwxvdKJkU/s640/blogger-image--909804677.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTARtIboT_xNuIw-L4hUQDRYv_K55PmMxaICnaJkU64TlxxarHnyHIR0neHAG6npX5eiYq2sl-x6tvVv3CHBkprc6MMvnR815cFn_Td3kwMhNvUB8NF-iZcmeMBmb93IlntILwxvdKJkU/s640/blogger-image--909804677.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We've had Maxx for almost 4 years now. He's always been fairly chill with every other living thing in the house. Honestly, he's always been very loving. To me. To Jeff. To the other cats. To the dogs. But for some reason, over the past few months, he has developed an abiding and visceral hatred of our oldest cat, Kendall (she's about 16). I have no idea why. Kendall really doesn't do a whole bunch since she's so old. She just sleeps a lot. But if she DOES get up, Maxx chases her and kicks her ass.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I've seen him lie in wait for her to go to the litter box. It's gotten to the point where I have to escort her twice daily to the facilities and stand guard while she does her business.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoDY8wH8r2kBZWBcXETi9xBFH9wWmOZPpvCKSZg0maeBmpopumv1F4U8aBc1f7MxGX2IC_1TPz3et5sktMBchHxhoxSB2w37-ikx0ss1j1uGPqA0iD7LNf7BLd9FZcj1_Ltct2A7eqMV0/s640/blogger-image-1175640183.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoDY8wH8r2kBZWBcXETi9xBFH9wWmOZPpvCKSZg0maeBmpopumv1F4U8aBc1f7MxGX2IC_1TPz3et5sktMBchHxhoxSB2w37-ikx0ss1j1uGPqA0iD7LNf7BLd9FZcj1_Ltct2A7eqMV0/s640/blogger-image-1175640183.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't know what-all transpires while we're at work, but she's taken to somehow opening the cabinet where we keep the plastic bags, crawling in there and sleeping where he can't get to her.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTodRzitfkI7eD3-rfYCfBlj6bLW5zjulZwtdArvP6kDvoA6tmnhyphenhyphenKbSKDzIFSJypvjKeHaOOkb6lX2EhjzArdsnnO7DBZOviZRcAmHPwMiflu1fu-Ynv5KCcg1E2nRlG-PTGG2DMJpro/s640/blogger-image--933775775.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTodRzitfkI7eD3-rfYCfBlj6bLW5zjulZwtdArvP6kDvoA6tmnhyphenhyphenKbSKDzIFSJypvjKeHaOOkb6lX2EhjzArdsnnO7DBZOviZRcAmHPwMiflu1fu-Ynv5KCcg1E2nRlG-PTGG2DMJpro/s640/blogger-image--933775775.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">(She doesn't always make the most elegant withdrawls).</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Jeff's theory over why Maxx has taken to beating up poor Kendall is because over the summer, our grand-kitten, Nala was at our house a good bit of the time while Mileena was not actively taking classes at college. Nala pretty much ruled the roost while she was there, chewing gum and kicking butt...and she was all outta gum. She took Maxx down several times (even though he outweighs her by 6-8 pounds). Jeff thinks that well, as he puts it "shit rolls downhill" and so that's why he started terrorizing Kendall.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">In addition to Kendall, Maxx has taken his frustrations out on the clothes hamper. I don't make the connection, but CLEARLY, something about this wicker hamper demands swift, brutal, and immediate punishment. (Excuse the photo quality. As soon as I started trying to get a picture of my hamper, every beast in the house tried to get in the shot):</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOqVGiQpgI52YLSwejJUDjX94PCzgHDwaO015glsX3skK0EPBLq1Ek6ngkODMlbCLYNkGUiPQP0pCpz_ZZCBsrMGVvj9tNrINzNG2cCCF73lHoCa_N_oS8SD8UeawMlrsaPnCAYTVoE24/s640/blogger-image-210950542.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOqVGiQpgI52YLSwejJUDjX94PCzgHDwaO015glsX3skK0EPBLq1Ek6ngkODMlbCLYNkGUiPQP0pCpz_ZZCBsrMGVvj9tNrINzNG2cCCF73lHoCa_N_oS8SD8UeawMlrsaPnCAYTVoE24/s640/blogger-image-210950542.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Simba, the golden retriever is doing a butt photo-bomb.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVdkmx5dTRdpFgA1Nw16hAIigG5eeTsGx_1FSlFENSal9bSY-0lAMwDJPvdfAHXLyM9K4wA8XRRT-ubvofVgAYVA1c1A1tyb8EP53ph9yTbjT0161CaQqvKjOj9jrr_DAmf55plfI09Xk/s640/blogger-image-1763104931.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVdkmx5dTRdpFgA1Nw16hAIigG5eeTsGx_1FSlFENSal9bSY-0lAMwDJPvdfAHXLyM9K4wA8XRRT-ubvofVgAYVA1c1A1tyb8EP53ph9yTbjT0161CaQqvKjOj9jrr_DAmf55plfI09Xk/s640/blogger-image-1763104931.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Libby, the chaweenie, photo bombing from the bed.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Not only has the hamper had its structural integrity so compromised that is about to implode from its own weight, but hamper giblets have been strewn liberally about the entire house.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZpiAbkBtThMgESfjka5ZuR6pnRXqsIhooBet2hho1Zf6kuRWi8o0kyHXLycwL1Br5OsICHXyGhXH1RBxTqQEShTdwsKwQ8LvefQ2l8wrhHRQh7_kLQy7VHPPouOh6QBMEP8Z_wWlqlNk/s640/blogger-image-1826221680.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZpiAbkBtThMgESfjka5ZuR6pnRXqsIhooBet2hho1Zf6kuRWi8o0kyHXLycwL1Br5OsICHXyGhXH1RBxTqQEShTdwsKwQ8LvefQ2l8wrhHRQh7_kLQy7VHPPouOh6QBMEP8Z_wWlqlNk/s640/blogger-image-1826221680.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This have to be picked up by hand so they don't destroy the $600 Dyson. (And what, I ask you, is the point of having a nice vacuum cleaner that I saved up for YEARS to buy if I am having to manually pick crap out of the carpet???)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I am now in the market for a Maxx-proof hamper.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">And suggestion as to how to make him be nice to his sister.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-88832128720408117592016-08-05T12:24:00.001-07:002016-08-05T12:24:16.155-07:00Kinky (no, not like that.)So. I had the vertical gastric sleeve thingy a year ago. Lost over 80#, which is great. Lost A LOT of my hair, which was not. My hair has been coming back in for the past couple of months. And the new hair is curly. Which is...strange. <div>My entire life I have had STRAIGHT hair. Like, super-duper, advanced straight.</div><div>Back in the 80's I tried a "spiral perm" that held for about 6 days before my hair fell absolutely straight again. The amount of teasing and aqua net I had to put into play back then to have nominally "big" hair was astounding.</div><div>And now I have patches of 1-2 inch long kinky-curly hair interspersed with my regular old hair that didn't fall out.</div><div>I went to see my friend and hair-wizard, Jennifer yesterday to see what we could do about this mess.</div><div>She gave me a trim (I was all for cutting it all off and letting it all grow back together, but Mileena is getting married in 10 months and it doesn't have time to get back to a decent length by then).</div><div>She also gave me some advice. "You have curly hair now. Embrace it."</div><div><br></div><div>So today I tried "scrunching".</div><div><br></div><div>And I need to know, is this a look I can pull off?</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_KiLHt44hxoLBJxbQapkf9FWi0-WIIqWgRo-gpHpikHH1R_1PuC9PGGj7QLh7QBmTYdw0ieawp_hItLZlh1UZXkoHWeV-C60xpT4_qYIXDigIqQwFykmJ61Ljw0P-EuOccIXtSrB0Il8/s640/blogger-image-1272020474.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_KiLHt44hxoLBJxbQapkf9FWi0-WIIqWgRo-gpHpikHH1R_1PuC9PGGj7QLh7QBmTYdw0ieawp_hItLZlh1UZXkoHWeV-C60xpT4_qYIXDigIqQwFykmJ61Ljw0P-EuOccIXtSrB0Il8/s640/blogger-image-1272020474.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-46937252269813013752016-05-18T12:59:00.002-07:002016-05-18T12:59:41.925-07:00Outside the Box<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't how to go about marketing this...but it is apparent to me that I have something potentially lucrative on my hands.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I'm not even sure where it came from (besides the vehicle for delivering something via "Priority Mail") but apparently, I have in my possession, the grandest box in all of Christendom.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Behold my panel of experts:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgeojtEue3-ReNMPCXEpFZ4YuRpLq7wNFZV1BvDi3QFweLiAWaHJkesORQQwcofZO7-tUrJCgB4dCSDi1g0vnlZ_6g5E2CeyXTrNX8Z9RBJf2DwmHRZTpfGAta8poJRcPmHClLqpudcrE/s1600/box-daisy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgeojtEue3-ReNMPCXEpFZ4YuRpLq7wNFZV1BvDi3QFweLiAWaHJkesORQQwcofZO7-tUrJCgB4dCSDi1g0vnlZ_6g5E2CeyXTrNX8Z9RBJf2DwmHRZTpfGAta8poJRcPmHClLqpudcrE/s1600/box-daisy.JPG" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Daisy Faye in the box</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB-K7qpzD9MKm29kipTtBZoxAQnbzmjo_Rp4Al6YZQ7WHMd0RsoG4DLxOqSBxgmQUIHKs9qW5q1sUxQtpZKU34hg5LUEOLR0iwrbwesZbjYtV0w2qKHSOPm0lI3ap79JCLVnGtbtkyQkQ/s1600/box-izby.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB-K7qpzD9MKm29kipTtBZoxAQnbzmjo_Rp4Al6YZQ7WHMd0RsoG4DLxOqSBxgmQUIHKs9qW5q1sUxQtpZKU34hg5LUEOLR0iwrbwesZbjYtV0w2qKHSOPm0lI3ap79JCLVnGtbtkyQkQ/s320/box-izby.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Izby in the box</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFShiAzmjFlumXqn7HRbaaecM4ukjBKZjorZzw_DW5wj1blJ33DxgNemKgpd5Oba06dPNIGQP5su2ZVeNOlqNJkoxRrskw6DzM4WKC2JLUPo07UbGY17ePNIZbEOoRmWKaObtAIo1_qmM/s1600/box-kendall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFShiAzmjFlumXqn7HRbaaecM4ukjBKZjorZzw_DW5wj1blJ33DxgNemKgpd5Oba06dPNIGQP5su2ZVeNOlqNJkoxRrskw6DzM4WKC2JLUPo07UbGY17ePNIZbEOoRmWKaObtAIo1_qmM/s320/box-kendall.jpg" width="232" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Kendall (with her jacked-up ear following her ba-jillion dollar auricular hematoma surgery) in the box.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And finally:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX9AbfreWApxaQPNz1KrrvWKVwLNNcyD6k4QWH4koWt70Qp1a-8cTFVeXQpq7-0anRV5WasbF6V7W8KYIHSGbLYxrcIy9mVA4H9g_4-X22Ti8_QrCEiWcWbyBlP2THfDb8g6zH45u4uF0/s1600/box-maxx.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX9AbfreWApxaQPNz1KrrvWKVwLNNcyD6k4QWH4koWt70Qp1a-8cTFVeXQpq7-0anRV5WasbF6V7W8KYIHSGbLYxrcIy9mVA4H9g_4-X22Ti8_QrCEiWcWbyBlP2THfDb8g6zH45u4uF0/s320/box-maxx.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Maxx, who gives the best representation of the awesomeness of this box.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Maxx is an eighteen pound Maine Coone who has successfully (and a little spitefully) stuffed all of his bigness into the awesome, fantastical, magical box.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Ownership of the box is an ever changing and very contentious topic in our household. But all involved are agreed. The box is a thing of wonder and delight.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Surely it is worth some money. Right?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-22766849359426647602016-03-30T07:41:00.003-07:002016-04-07T20:46:01.461-07:00El Chapo<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Over four years ago, I had another of my many failed "fosters." Some jerk had dropped off a young Chihuahua/dachshund mix (a chiweenie, if you will) in the after-hours cage outside of the county animal control facility. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">You see, our county animal control facility (which is NOT a shelter, people!) used to allow people to drop off unwanted animals just whenever they wanted...they wouldn't even have to look another human in the eye when they did it, either.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">The control facility was right outside the gate into the plant where I worked. Usually, if there was an animal in the cage (which we referred to as the "kill cage" since the animals dropped off there were usually only kept 24-48 hours before they were put down...again, animal control facilities are not shelters, folks) I, or one of my co-workers would stop and get the animal out and then try to find a home or at least a no-kill shelter to take it to.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">On day, my co-worker, Jan, had stopped and liberated this little lady:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiXw3jEKq7GRTRSHHdQ8GUmAY8DeL2iZYxiGmebhBIwgjglkh3GYpTqUIdesEjPz-KkHFb1XUiXNDLN74I1-Vq6Em9qB7URi8WGpjmi9Zs4Q-B4guZu4v8g9eSsm0o3vzri08z1ZO892k/s640/blogger-image-1263792016.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiXw3jEKq7GRTRSHHdQ8GUmAY8DeL2iZYxiGmebhBIwgjglkh3GYpTqUIdesEjPz-KkHFb1XUiXNDLN74I1-Vq6Em9qB7URi8WGpjmi9Zs4Q-B4guZu4v8g9eSsm0o3vzri08z1ZO892k/s640/blogger-image-1263792016.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jan found a no-kill shelter about an hour away that could take her in about a week, if someone could foster her for that long.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Yeah...we all know where this leads. By the time I took her home, took her to the vet for shots and spaying, she had made friends with all of the cats (believe it or not) and had wiggled her little chiweenie self into our hearts.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">And for the past four years we have all lived in harmony. Libby has been an inside during the evenings when we're home, outside during the day while we're at work dog. We have a lovely fenced back yard with access onto a glassed-in porch that has a padded bench, a dog bed, a heater during the winter and a ceiling fan during the summer. Not bad accommodations, if you ask me.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Then, the other day...right out of the blue, I drove up to my house and saw this:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM9MjvdcnLkfhX28cZuIWNiUZ0rDSfsYRECzUXEvxD6QddluFaUnADMEbcPva8SHkdjjdtGcgLCUdAGUCIbUVXLHO0I4W1KkWLsyCkOPp7dlVun5iA237ppOssHWGwmiu3eMhe5ayCzmA/s640/blogger-image-488562837.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM9MjvdcnLkfhX28cZuIWNiUZ0rDSfsYRECzUXEvxD6QddluFaUnADMEbcPva8SHkdjjdtGcgLCUdAGUCIbUVXLHO0I4W1KkWLsyCkOPp7dlVun5iA237ppOssHWGwmiu3eMhe5ayCzmA/s640/blogger-image-488562837.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR9DL5uyx5a0R1LcZuG55lUGnW2lkNhBB_rilTQBHAPeGt5A_T6h-sYXuuhnzzpVKvF13-0AV6kT1qKnI1Cbo05IqqDKBXiosVrUnyPiHbRX_dis00UaV9JmyE_I0OsC5G5Ow5i8mkUXk/s640/blogger-image--451694941.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR9DL5uyx5a0R1LcZuG55lUGnW2lkNhBB_rilTQBHAPeGt5A_T6h-sYXuuhnzzpVKvF13-0AV6kT1qKnI1Cbo05IqqDKBXiosVrUnyPiHbRX_dis00UaV9JmyE_I0OsC5G5Ow5i8mkUXk/s640/blogger-image--451694941.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">She looks quite pleased with herself, doesn't she?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Jeff and I looked around the back yard and discovered that one of the gates had a gap in it big enough for her to squeeze out of, so we put a rock in the gap.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">The next day, we get home and our neighbor comes over with Libby under his arm. He said she kept getting out and coming over to his house while he was working in the yard, so he just kept her with him until we got home.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Jeff added some cinder blocks, a 2 x 4 and some rail road spikes to our would-be chiweenie barricade.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">It looks quite elegant, no?</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHi5wuSNuNmaD6JsGcne8NAWBYuLmce3_-19X_cnL8O35nYgl2uA9aQu9pcDMH35QvhCcbyTiETCvg6dJhLfplIFz4tFcAfqsBbaZF6xEFSWwlHWtr49RBDEz1J99cX7UZOQ4nlxX-7CQ/s640/blogger-image-1948880507.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHi5wuSNuNmaD6JsGcne8NAWBYuLmce3_-19X_cnL8O35nYgl2uA9aQu9pcDMH35QvhCcbyTiETCvg6dJhLfplIFz4tFcAfqsBbaZF6xEFSWwlHWtr49RBDEz1J99cX7UZOQ4nlxX-7CQ/s640/blogger-image-1948880507.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A few days pass, and then the little turd goes on walk-about again. I took her inside and talked to her about this new wander-lust that has suddenly struck her after over four years of contentment in the back yard.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitga4DTJXew8SSkf05fMcP2rbQ-Lm4lhSt_VQvbmhu8BkY1KoxdCql7ZvMljWe8Ih82tMh38Y5L13EBKkatXULHPJ5IpR0WBJob8KrGn1wHi5wm5A0ZjCQSHrIUD7RrnIBHUaxkq70sC8/s640/blogger-image-1027663852.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitga4DTJXew8SSkf05fMcP2rbQ-Lm4lhSt_VQvbmhu8BkY1KoxdCql7ZvMljWe8Ih82tMh38Y5L13EBKkatXULHPJ5IpR0WBJob8KrGn1wHi5wm5A0ZjCQSHrIUD7RrnIBHUaxkq70sC8/s640/blogger-image-1027663852.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Back outside, I saw no disturbance of Jeff's handiwork.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I did a quick perimeter search and found where she'd gone under a section of the fence that had a shallow depression under it.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Jeff drives in another railroad spike to hold the fence in place closer to the ground:</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDZtrMdbawzccQ0Fy2z5RtmX6VoAvq0n4JKZofd8leqrJha5wXJLEashajZ3aoFmWVdFbAK5aOaALqfIr3JQC__GgvXcDu3ZH0PNTUvqwWBGSccsHP3vxDDVdNnKtxEO3nE52WFWv1O9I/s640/blogger-image-406831537.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDZtrMdbawzccQ0Fy2z5RtmX6VoAvq0n4JKZofd8leqrJha5wXJLEashajZ3aoFmWVdFbAK5aOaALqfIr3JQC__GgvXcDu3ZH0PNTUvqwWBGSccsHP3vxDDVdNnKtxEO3nE52WFWv1O9I/s640/blogger-image-406831537.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And this greeted me upon my return from work the following day:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgNhAYqq706d-gb-0iVCQEWGsZi2ZW5DeNxMb7_6AVuHt0nuT7WD7CSZsXhNFv-NnCeJK1eM7Qi2izRymZThCE25-OOq3bd2JY6ab5YfdfqomJSNw4UvB9fLzHhtlifLj2EcxSh7ijrAE/s640/blogger-image--16258553.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgNhAYqq706d-gb-0iVCQEWGsZi2ZW5DeNxMb7_6AVuHt0nuT7WD7CSZsXhNFv-NnCeJK1eM7Qi2izRymZThCE25-OOq3bd2JY6ab5YfdfqomJSNw4UvB9fLzHhtlifLj2EcxSh7ijrAE/s640/blogger-image--16258553.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Annnnd Jeff tries more spikes.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvmb7kzZCYulr5Yh5ETTNZs6zUWyWiWEjQd7VVsiFS36UqUj3OPkSFQXv8ErQZmpYtbnktxHujDSHen8eiYA26HZ43iPWBnxQC2diNByqfS-iibqwPpuR-LbOJjcRmeZOBwvsUCWlO_vc/s640/blogger-image--1403004528.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvmb7kzZCYulr5Yh5ETTNZs6zUWyWiWEjQd7VVsiFS36UqUj3OPkSFQXv8ErQZmpYtbnktxHujDSHen8eiYA26HZ43iPWBnxQC2diNByqfS-iibqwPpuR-LbOJjcRmeZOBwvsUCWlO_vc/s640/blogger-image--1403004528.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My guess is that she can dig faster than he can set spikes. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">And I am coming to my wits' end worrying about my sweet little rescue dog that hasn't got the sense to know that the back yard is where she needs to be. Nothing's going to run over her or tote her off. She has food and water and toys and a great big Golden Retriever brudder to play with in the back yard.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Any suggestions out there for keeping my Alabama El Chapo from continuing to tunnel out?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-14200411755795880102016-01-26T11:59:00.000-08:002016-01-26T11:59:17.796-08:00Tinder is the night<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've been married to the same man for over 25 years. So I was out of the dating scene WAAAYYYY before the era of online dating and Tinder and stuff. And thank God for that.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">I do have some single friends that have perused the interwebs in search of true love. They occasionally share some of their better finds with the rest of us. Below are some of the more bizarre submissions. My apologies if any of these are relations of yall's.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">First up, Cedric.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Cedric, dude slow down. Breathe. And punctuate. Because I am unsure of the context of the phrase "to touch" without some sort of grammatical guidance here.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEuKCH3cFA7-2ZBfnibXeuC8mvQlB9Ulcv2s0-KU0J34A1Dj8JmD5GrDdkV2DmeHdGmKRvrwVV9ioFohO77Kl9IuFZchV5pkdluwA_gF_dOYy8wke-9-aIt2Q-QF58I0h_EHZDrjKrfQg/s640/blogger-image-1724900383.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEuKCH3cFA7-2ZBfnibXeuC8mvQlB9Ulcv2s0-KU0J34A1Dj8JmD5GrDdkV2DmeHdGmKRvrwVV9ioFohO77Kl9IuFZchV5pkdluwA_gF_dOYy8wke-9-aIt2Q-QF58I0h_EHZDrjKrfQg/s640/blogger-image-1724900383.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Kevin, Dating tip: try not to use the word "horrors" when you're trying to attract the ladies.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI9mgMKpRC6YLvzS-TGrGVX4ti5d-hfHZQKTux-1qNGJs1GiEDNgDmqb8S2MO30zdRNkVofOTn-LGEYAUf3fHtQVVhUZfKp2PIoD7BCNvXw8Jou7GUZ8W_LhbpGMsTMoFryTL_8iK5Gew/s640/blogger-image--1703135134.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI9mgMKpRC6YLvzS-TGrGVX4ti5d-hfHZQKTux-1qNGJs1GiEDNgDmqb8S2MO30zdRNkVofOTn-LGEYAUf3fHtQVVhUZfKp2PIoD7BCNvXw8Jou7GUZ8W_LhbpGMsTMoFryTL_8iK5Gew/s640/blogger-image--1703135134.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Greg, most women do not appreciate a man who's cleavaging more than they are. I'm not saying that it isn't great that you're in good shape...just maybe you don't wear a pink-striped blouse with a plunging neckline.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ7-2JDB09qpj6SkAlF89kTz0Yk05KmZWNTelObnoQRq6tfevxu0OAYi-eb8DHtSQEIvSPQhtXpWwowK3xJr5mR-heNig9octQmkZq_jZP6t0vMCuhsK3vrHjcoMaUXsViJdWtH8DbW-A/s640/blogger-image--1023758371.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ7-2JDB09qpj6SkAlF89kTz0Yk05KmZWNTelObnoQRq6tfevxu0OAYi-eb8DHtSQEIvSPQhtXpWwowK3xJr5mR-heNig9octQmkZq_jZP6t0vMCuhsK3vrHjcoMaUXsViJdWtH8DbW-A/s640/blogger-image--1023758371.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Doesn't this guy look like a great big barrel of happy? Nothing says "Good times" like a beer and a cigarette...in his..... um, unfinished basement??? Where he's taken his other victims? I mean, dates?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrsH_kS1wL8hWIP0lRnCnq0LeygTVks4TCJ8gUuAZzxRL3xYadFRl5AMiBy78wFr4G6QtE2fqV3Yx8no6MIqy8IlZac0JPUeU_KfXN6phBAmTnO4ugS8HquF8afUiGb1c77efmuLrRKmk/s640/blogger-image-2041925406.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrsH_kS1wL8hWIP0lRnCnq0LeygTVks4TCJ8gUuAZzxRL3xYadFRl5AMiBy78wFr4G6QtE2fqV3Yx8no6MIqy8IlZac0JPUeU_KfXN6phBAmTnO4ugS8HquF8afUiGb1c77efmuLrRKmk/s640/blogger-image-2041925406.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Maybe this is an attempt to show that he's not afraid of commitment?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheu9Sdwnjhagwu9GY3Q7iS5sXcZRVN707TE931cFuHc2iKVia_V-JIoNNgE0yQIvy-yEGrRxPkzF20C6t4fh0HINk4-ZJH9bGS8orJQ38Fo4Kwq5u9rvh2qODQDtgPF5onOYyUWFIbRJY/s640/blogger-image-547855139.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheu9Sdwnjhagwu9GY3Q7iS5sXcZRVN707TE931cFuHc2iKVia_V-JIoNNgE0yQIvy-yEGrRxPkzF20C6t4fh0HINk4-ZJH9bGS8orJQ38Fo4Kwq5u9rvh2qODQDtgPF5onOYyUWFIbRJY/s640/blogger-image-547855139.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, just ignore the shake n' bake meth lab I've got going.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzi048tgNfaEqrdLlXZ4fII8WhS8K93NH3eMUs9yJEPE5tpVdAWnYaHfTDMyR7whzt9aKRz4kTbKr68s4zv-SKlmLX8Ob68UNzbDUAyUkkdGIPUvs-POwZGNSpiQSkgVJ-628DcTPfZw4/s640/blogger-image--2047538365.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzi048tgNfaEqrdLlXZ4fII8WhS8K93NH3eMUs9yJEPE5tpVdAWnYaHfTDMyR7whzt9aKRz4kTbKr68s4zv-SKlmLX8Ob68UNzbDUAyUkkdGIPUvs-POwZGNSpiQSkgVJ-628DcTPfZw4/s640/blogger-image--2047538365.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Does your mother know that you've been talking to girls?</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Vq_0gHGZghW-oiJs4nY4HjdjqEySy-lIRUMXLSX_FWkHswhc9WcRjQPTDHl0A6SJiAUrkVK_dNNwlnQzYdomMYwXN-Q2zxPWYGDRPvnRGhtFcGt6OPV0aOQd0GuzlRp5d-TLYv_qM7M/s640/blogger-image-626773780.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Vq_0gHGZghW-oiJs4nY4HjdjqEySy-lIRUMXLSX_FWkHswhc9WcRjQPTDHl0A6SJiAUrkVK_dNNwlnQzYdomMYwXN-Q2zxPWYGDRPvnRGhtFcGt6OPV0aOQd0GuzlRp5d-TLYv_qM7M/s640/blogger-image-626773780.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Cute dog. Not sure why we feel the need to take selfies in the walk in closet, however.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb29nZsiPUIRFFTRXQmtmt8x3JzOnAo1edsm64rvYP56V5xxegztMB8GRoa65psGBwr_39AFcn7L9xtMLIawEB-cl9PiBtQztEVBQ3mVdqxzdsHP6VSaoraILm2zQAr2aOzTnWCt9j98M/s640/blogger-image-1149622792.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb29nZsiPUIRFFTRXQmtmt8x3JzOnAo1edsm64rvYP56V5xxegztMB8GRoa65psGBwr_39AFcn7L9xtMLIawEB-cl9PiBtQztEVBQ3mVdqxzdsHP6VSaoraILm2zQAr2aOzTnWCt9j98M/s640/blogger-image-1149622792.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm just going to let my (unnamed) friend's comment stand on its own for this one.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA3hWqvJjp57if0baykO9pjTHv9kAW3d7if2jFqDmNXAicRJh8WeZlKm_0HsIxK3q37WL3UgeCqIeLvax8a6UjCLx2RFY9bTygKgLl5Ur64Jwuhsitvl7basktErVFduGAxvqU8FUGAzA/s640/blogger-image--1120164089.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA3hWqvJjp57if0baykO9pjTHv9kAW3d7if2jFqDmNXAicRJh8WeZlKm_0HsIxK3q37WL3UgeCqIeLvax8a6UjCLx2RFY9bTygKgLl5Ur64Jwuhsitvl7basktErVFduGAxvqU8FUGAzA/s640/blogger-image--1120164089.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then there's Scottie. Scottie....Scottie scares the shit out of me. I think he may have multiple personalities, and thus he felt that he should have photo representation of each.</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Scottie#1 "It rubs the lotion on it's skin"</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfRWycHHA1vwLvY-bFYJxEXOd64xC1nJUXJIXpLPDP7J1zgZNhutLVSSldX9oB8syp_CC0hymvqWpR6u6yNbgjoeQftc8Hc7DypJaM5yc7Gtfzl5cpTU3hW5pD_7CccTnIxiiGOmHBR7E/s640/blogger-image-863989875.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfRWycHHA1vwLvY-bFYJxEXOd64xC1nJUXJIXpLPDP7J1zgZNhutLVSSldX9oB8syp_CC0hymvqWpR6u6yNbgjoeQftc8Hc7DypJaM5yc7Gtfzl5cpTU3hW5pD_7CccTnIxiiGOmHBR7E/s640/blogger-image-863989875.jpg" /></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Scottie#2 "It's not the size of your gun, but the number of your bullets."</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio0yETsVZRseros5aKmoL-4iyvhYgb8-WL9jy-cLU1nqUyS1MkMbBjSpXdaBdKQp4w9tSisUNWVQzWrSli01Yhydshr7WhoWo7HaJuAzB4uzfVNsuoO3ixqUNQTmtbgO02yn9OHFbhGJo/s640/blogger-image-324231946.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio0yETsVZRseros5aKmoL-4iyvhYgb8-WL9jy-cLU1nqUyS1MkMbBjSpXdaBdKQp4w9tSisUNWVQzWrSli01Yhydshr7WhoWo7HaJuAzB4uzfVNsuoO3ixqUNQTmtbgO02yn9OHFbhGJo/s640/blogger-image-324231946.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Scottie#3. This.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">He has taken a picture of his cat peeking up though his drawers while he sits on the toilet.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Now, I know that there are few among us that have indoor cats that have not experienced a feline's tenacity when it comes to wanting attention whilst one is on the can.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">But Scottie...Scottie decided to take a picture and then USE IT ON HIS TINDER ACCOUNT.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_dy0OWo9DzyTidU8eMMpmkfelfphTRi5JHqSQHHnb_mR_yoMOveeax8cHZTnBsw-R1B1cJ9Q6QIeK1rKi3BBB-ZRun5lAjENiJUqywkqYVvEcuVVd1kVYW7fQ0AjCl2lBovyjofFeDXw/s640/blogger-image-417413501.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_dy0OWo9DzyTidU8eMMpmkfelfphTRi5JHqSQHHnb_mR_yoMOveeax8cHZTnBsw-R1B1cJ9Q6QIeK1rKi3BBB-ZRun5lAjENiJUqywkqYVvEcuVVd1kVYW7fQ0AjCl2lBovyjofFeDXw/s640/blogger-image-417413501.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finally, this guy.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">I don't even have words.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I'd advise you not to read his min-bio there if you're the least bit squeamish.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2wkNfIWN1351T4_26HjQwq2WXSC_75C65vZkWnHMg2HNWcN8Hi034N4pNOhRM3yw2tKH30nfpq6VB2qy5jQMfLXQhQTrtCPyp5F34enodKxMaS6jE4ZM5lrtRJCnaIgpRCyMC8uIbCFE/s640/blogger-image-524859920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2wkNfIWN1351T4_26HjQwq2WXSC_75C65vZkWnHMg2HNWcN8Hi034N4pNOhRM3yw2tKH30nfpq6VB2qy5jQMfLXQhQTrtCPyp5F34enodKxMaS6jE4ZM5lrtRJCnaIgpRCyMC8uIbCFE/s640/blogger-image-524859920.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7HUjyVJN-ZvwxNYsdJMqqS7-w2yaHyD8X1Vupbf2dyQpfKWkkr1CROi45nPc_9fzr0Xmvl7xEl_XQlEe1bmyJYiHqPkLrGYkw7L0ZuO29IPZCaUPFDUVCMeNUxjRwTC75YVWDe-1Fl4c/s640/blogger-image-10248995.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-80485362610466101162016-01-14T08:20:00.002-08:002016-01-14T08:20:10.254-08:00If the leggings fit...<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGcJa37Rq7SSUJig8XwYtBVKBkXd8yh_hGJvHEZfZQx8D4QSH60xMZUn6DthiDJ_OHTn1uuZr6Sr7hXnualyRZF9IQf-ao8sg-gVuqQcRMPsn7eNaW1TB6ZX1pmNH-zdRVOWxd-dq2AQs/s640/blogger-image-1638265303.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGcJa37Rq7SSUJig8XwYtBVKBkXd8yh_hGJvHEZfZQx8D4QSH60xMZUn6DthiDJ_OHTn1uuZr6Sr7hXnualyRZF9IQf-ao8sg-gVuqQcRMPsn7eNaW1TB6ZX1pmNH-zdRVOWxd-dq2AQs/s640/blogger-image-1638265303.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">These are the leggings I wore to work on Tuesday.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I like them. They are warm and comfy...the waistband doesn't rub my barely-healed incision where I had my laparoscopic hernia surgery last month. And with a tunic-length sweater and boots I don't look too bum-ish.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Most days I don't have to interact with a lot of people at my job. But when I do, it's usually lots of people from far-flung places.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Tuesday was the second day of a visit we were having with a bunch of foreign nationals. All from different nations...Serbia, India, Russia, England, Czechoslovakia, Malta...etc. And I was playing the part of Girl Friday...fetching and running and escorting (not like that) and copying and faxing, etc. Did not use a lot of my Mechanical Engineering skills for this visit, but still, it was a necessary function and I was happy to assist.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">All of the people in the group were very pleasant to work with, even if there was an occasional language barrier. English was not the mother tongue of any (except the Englishman) but was the only common language to all.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">So when the guy from Serbia was trying to find me...what he wanted to say was..."what is the name of the lady in the colorful leggings." </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">What the final translation was?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I have officially been called, "Ms. Crazy Pants" at work.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Awesome.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-31953663986300324972016-01-06T08:12:00.004-08:002016-01-06T08:14:39.662-08:00(Algo)rithm of the night(mare)<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Is it just me, or does everyone get things "suggested" to them on their timeline that just make you wonder about the method that Facebook uses?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Well, lately, I'm beginning to wonder if they've added a new "insult" component to their "suggestions" algorithm:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPB5PKKFPbjt90X7hRUHWzFKxOSVH_yrXxBmoYazgSEjJDP337Ac1kXWd851Sjixb5ojWRUfZxpRQonjrlSof3mUd34l-YWBEfpK7LxcmeDIz7qR7rayRABdKPk4JHfdl815NK_G-wgho/s640/blogger-image-892732350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPB5PKKFPbjt90X7hRUHWzFKxOSVH_yrXxBmoYazgSEjJDP337Ac1kXWd851Sjixb5ojWRUfZxpRQonjrlSof3mUd34l-YWBEfpK7LxcmeDIz7qR7rayRABdKPk4JHfdl815NK_G-wgho/s640/blogger-image-892732350.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">
</span><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I'm not a grandmother, dammit! Not that there is anything wrong with being a grandmother. I've heard it's great.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">But I think it's just presumptuous to assume that because of my advanced age, I must be one. (Having a grandkitten does not count).</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfKtvKqdPJySMU7LUQ1q78gnQGzwKc8WS2w-_UYrtB3rae2ujctMQvzeXGETVpPlUU9L1hB4TTmM8LyjFHZ52nnBffn2GT1EGZhQpwOToarjlHECfbUS1D_XlE0APRNd-K_Z9NXQMta7k/s1600/fb+snip+010616.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">And this one? Is not just insulting...it's the stuff of nightmares:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmlIGptmcKci_E3sd8kST_58Mu4jZ0JZMPu4gwlxR_qDL5CMZaz2RIj9KHXEBK2FkHlFWtJXrEUfl2ytEKbxuZBlqh6YPuA-PztetZvr2Yzo2GeBaS_2FusTEPKxg5gIt8tDBGwu2ljrg/s640/blogger-image-554901862.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmlIGptmcKci_E3sd8kST_58Mu4jZ0JZMPu4gwlxR_qDL5CMZaz2RIj9KHXEBK2FkHlFWtJXrEUfl2ytEKbxuZBlqh6YPuA-PztetZvr2Yzo2GeBaS_2FusTEPKxg5gIt8tDBGwu2ljrg/s640/blogger-image-554901862.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now you're just being hateful, Facebook.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPB5PKKFPbjt90X7hRUHWzFKxOSVH_yrXxBmoYazgSEjJDP337Ac1kXWd851Sjixb5ojWRUfZxpRQonjrlSof3mUd34l-YWBEfpK7LxcmeDIz7qR7rayRABdKPk4JHfdl815NK_G-wgho/s640/blogger-image-892732350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-78688351365192418412015-12-07T08:39:00.002-08:002015-12-07T08:48:26.437-08:00Be what you would like to see<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I don't know about you guys, but the crap on the news has been depressing me.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I am sick to death of all of the ugliness and shootings and bombings and hatefulness.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'm also just worn out with all of the politics that we are constantly being bombarded with. For the LOVE OF GOD, we have eleven more months of this crap before we get to vote...and then it is likely going to be reminiscent of the South Park episode where the kids had to vote on a new mascot and their choices were between a Douche Bag and a Shit Sandwich.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">We are well into the month of December, and I have been struggling to pull my head out of all of the negative and get into the holiday spirit. It has been an uphill battle this year.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Until yesterday...</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></span><br /></div>
<div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I hang out with a fantastic group of women, the infamous (we believe) Funkalicious Alabama Ku</span></span><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">dzu Queens. I cannot adequately explain the number of times and the variety of ways that these ladies have impacted my life.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></span></span><br /></div>
<div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For the most part, we are a loosely regulated coalition of multifarious women. I say loosely regulated because our group's guiding rules are not very strict:</span></span></span> </div>
<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Pay our yearly dues.</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Don't do anything to get us arrested or get our children taken away.</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Show up as often as you can.</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Love one another.</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="text_exposed_show">Support one another.</span></span></div>
</li>
</ol>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="text_exposed_show">Multifarious because, well, we are. Our ages range from early thirties to late sixties. Our professions are extremely diverse: business owner, chemist, engineer, travel agent, nurses, controller, fitness instructor, interior designer, domestic goddess, etc. We are single, married, divorced; with and without children.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="text_exposed_show">We convene monthly for our "liquid lunches" (that should be self-explanatory). And several times a year, we try to use our many combined talents, resources, and just plain awesomeness for the forces of good.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></span></span><br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Recently, a member of our group, Rebecca, became aware of a serious issue right here close to home. There are several families in our local community that have a difficult time providing food for their elementary school aged children on weekends and whenever school is out. Several organizations have been sending food home for these kids in backpacks on the weekends. However, Christmas vacation is on the horizon and these kids are looking at 17 days straight of no school breakfasts or lunches.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> We (Rebecca) identified 16 families with a combined total of 38 kids that really needed some help. (Rebecca got with the principal & some of the teachers at the elementary school. The kids and their families we chose were vetted by the principal and teachers. Those of you out there in the education system know that it’s the teachers and school administrators who REALLY know the stories of the children in their care.) In a lot of cases, you have grandparents who have been thrown into the task of raising children on a fixed income…or single parents who are just struggling to make ends meet.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> The KQs as a group decided to raise money amongst ourselves, as well as our friends and associates to provide care packages for these families so that these kids will have something to eat while they are out of school for Christmas break. We each gave what money we could, several ladies put boxes out at their work places to collect items, and we put the call out far and wide for donations.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">The response was fantastic.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">We raised approximately $1800.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Yesterday, 6 of us out of the group met together to do the shopping for the care packages:</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwn0LxxMR2q4vR-SrT1QVCGGiyyGCoWxUz_pjNMGBSzjAIt9Onrg8qoLOFhWCsOVqXTO9qzehi0A5pu7C9RoOSdFc4mC4Ukv_S8wflbif9VNUVB6xYhOHxUvVeIS_6Wf41FGXOAU7St3w/s640/blogger-image-614769419.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwn0LxxMR2q4vR-SrT1QVCGGiyyGCoWxUz_pjNMGBSzjAIt9Onrg8qoLOFhWCsOVqXTO9qzehi0A5pu7C9RoOSdFc4mC4Ukv_S8wflbif9VNUVB6xYhOHxUvVeIS_6Wf41FGXOAU7St3w/s640/blogger-image-614769419.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">We bought non-perishable items such as: cans of ravioli, spaghetti & meatballs, breakfast bars, ramen noodles, Spam ( I have been assured that kids love this, even though I cannot stand the smell of it myself), mac n' cheese, apple sauce, fruit cups, juice boxes, etc. (we made sure not to get anything with peanuts!) We stuck primarily to the stuff with some nutritional value...though we did include some chips...'cause everyone needs a little treat.</span></div>
<div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibyC1Zf4l1J2wtad1KWvBFPRyyEvLwmAHrEInF1N2uwJfNe_nm4I8zQjelnexbRpqXtA_CyZmHf3RRPXZ7P3rS8pURuUoJO3vElY6HpxHwajQdLjvugynI2L7s8n7zSoQ3aK3ExVf6RmU/s640/blogger-image--1320426787.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibyC1Zf4l1J2wtad1KWvBFPRyyEvLwmAHrEInF1N2uwJfNe_nm4I8zQjelnexbRpqXtA_CyZmHf3RRPXZ7P3rS8pURuUoJO3vElY6HpxHwajQdLjvugynI2L7s8n7zSoQ3aK3ExVf6RmU/s640/blogger-image--1320426787.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilVqUMfk7FtGhFCgTTOx-VCodbfF3VallRan0hZtlqPGEK7_uzgKy87yil3u3ofOqW7SdaLhxdsAaU739DOPyVLpY3fPHiBu5PvwoqDxr3yGAqHJhVVemicud2E6nlZ5Ew0YTUurtxMoQ/s640/blogger-image-2056803822.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilVqUMfk7FtGhFCgTTOx-VCodbfF3VallRan0hZtlqPGEK7_uzgKy87yil3u3ofOqW7SdaLhxdsAaU739DOPyVLpY3fPHiBu5PvwoqDxr3yGAqHJhVVemicud2E6nlZ5Ew0YTUurtxMoQ/s640/blogger-image-2056803822.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You know what really, really made my day?</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While we shopped, we kept a running tab on what we were spending...<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">by the time we had everything we wanted in the quantities we needed, we calculated we'd be about $16 short. The six of us shopping were just going to split the extra...but on our way to the register a lady stopped and asked us what we were doing...when we told her, she handed us a $20. God is truly shown in the kindness of strangers.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">There wasn't a dry eye among us as we put that lady's $20 with the rest of our money and proceeded to check out.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTUnQ4LKO5Mtt86jriLZRYPidr7qBDIqOSA7PBUNnTmCSDkzCDFFbHG_5t_k99uV7IpWGqptJQHXNkAmqT5r0Ta25VmTfFlmJ7IAhUQL8XJN1cVLu8Mdz7IJqeP2qglzZCMvQR3U6vqCw/s640/blogger-image-187964535.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTUnQ4LKO5Mtt86jriLZRYPidr7qBDIqOSA7PBUNnTmCSDkzCDFFbHG_5t_k99uV7IpWGqptJQHXNkAmqT5r0Ta25VmTfFlmJ7IAhUQL8XJN1cVLu8Mdz7IJqeP2qglzZCMvQR3U6vqCw/s640/blogger-image-187964535.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoXaVw4bBI6OxJBDDW72QdQz_MMhsOzD-bVf0kAk_nGeiJF9sACtYa9rFtLAVatYn4tc15WM8MFwftQ2mjMU2MDeLqiTrTkB9vz3O6gz6uv_Pkz7U6WekiNmUmseb-rV6lbSLZbMsbcoQ/s640/blogger-image-1118054764.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoXaVw4bBI6OxJBDDW72QdQz_MMhsOzD-bVf0kAk_nGeiJF9sACtYa9rFtLAVatYn4tc15WM8MFwftQ2mjMU2MDeLqiTrTkB9vz3O6gz6uv_Pkz7U6WekiNmUmseb-rV6lbSLZbMsbcoQ/s640/blogger-image-1118054764.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH-l88j6DYsvUtrUuIh4EGhyphenhyphenTiV2P-Pu38CGx_cO0BIUGfGQYKKv5xp_NQO-xiPMPDhaJ4wM85JWlcUwsoEXSufgu6A2ZGQJkCNZTgKEaZug2cdHSd3EofNukTNhcS5s9q97i9RWAMlxQ/s640/blogger-image--741788859.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH-l88j6DYsvUtrUuIh4EGhyphenhyphenTiV2P-Pu38CGx_cO0BIUGfGQYKKv5xp_NQO-xiPMPDhaJ4wM85JWlcUwsoEXSufgu6A2ZGQJkCNZTgKEaZug2cdHSd3EofNukTNhcS5s9q97i9RWAMlxQ/s640/blogger-image--741788859.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">At the register, we got another pleasant surprise. Because we were spending so much and Rebecca was a "Plus" member, we got $10 back for every $500 we spent.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">We hadn't calculated that in our original tally, and we had money left over.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">So...we had a quick little conference...and we'll be getting each of the families a Christmas ham to go along with everything else.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Next week, we'll be getting together to put the packages together for delivery to the families.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">This experience has finally put me in the Christmas spirit.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">It has reminded me that there are good, kind, giving people still out there.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">It has reminded me that there is more beauty than ugly out there.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">And it has reminded me that if I want the world to look different I need to "Be What I Want to See" in the world.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">A modern twist to "Man in the Mirror", I'm changing the "Chick in the Selfie"</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-65713690825004526752015-11-10T08:48:00.001-08:002015-11-10T08:48:14.956-08:00Holiday blues<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Last week, Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, tweeted about having an embarrassing encounter while on travel. What ensued were hordes of tweets about the embarrassing things or awkward occurrences that others have had. Jenny has an awesome following and the tweets they shared are absolutely hilarious.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">You can see them <a href="http://thebloggess.com/2015/11/and-then-that-one-time-on-twitter-we-all-just-became-human-and-i-laughed-until-i-gave-myself-a-headache/" target="_blank">here</a> or <a href="http://thebloggess.com/2015/11/awkwarding-is-what-brings-us-all-together/" target="_blank">here.</a></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I attempted to tweet about one of <em>my</em> most disconcerting experiences EVER, but alas, my mortification is such that it cannot be condensed into a 140-character synopsis.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">My story begins shortly after Christmas, some time in the early 90s.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Jeff and I had been out somewhere. It was really, really cold and wet and nasty out and Jeff had gotten a chill that he couldn't shake...so he decided to hop in the shower when we got home.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Jeff: Marianne! Come here!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: What? What's wrong?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Jeff (pulling the shower curtain back and tilting his left upper body out): Look at my left arm and chest! It's all blue.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: Ohmygod! Do you feel okay?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Jeff: I dunno...it kinda feels a little tingly or something, I think.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: Get out and dry off! I'm calling an ambulance!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Jeff: No, don't do that. Hold on.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: Hold on! Hold on? You could be having a heart attack. How does your chest feel?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br />Jeff: Well, now that you mention it...maybe it does feel a little funny.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: We're going to the hospital!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Jeff: Well, don't call an ambulance, we'll just drive.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: You are NOT driving! I will.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">So he gets re-dressed and we bundle back into the car. I drive like a bat-out-of-Hell lunatic to the hospital. The whole way is like:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: How are you doing?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Jeff: I dunno. I think I feel a little funny.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: Anything hurting?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br />Jeff: No. But I think I might be a little short of breath.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">More acceleration</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I practically skid into the Emergency Room parking lot sideways, pull up straight to the door and go in and grab the first medical-type person I see: "My husband is having a heart attack!" They grab a wheel chair and unload him from the car.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I quickly slam into the first parking space I can find and race into the ER where they have him on a gurney and are taking his blood pressure and temperature.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Then a nurse comes up with a bag of saline and tells him to take off his shirt and put on a hospital top so that she can start an IV. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">She gets everything set and takes his arm to put the IV in...gets out an alcohol prep and disinfects the crook of his arm with it. She also rubbed the blue off.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">She held the swab up so we could all see with a look of "Huh?" on her face.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">That's when it all clicked.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">My grandmother had given Jeff a brand new Tommy Hilfiger shirt for Christmas. It looked a lot like this:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoGvRvWzg-xglchvbiBXRiONHmsbeqKvs1UyhZWkRYXgiZrAzVUKB-e08JTn_84x_iSslE9FNxbljKfb1pR1Cm53Hsb9EuLQnFEAbQU2jfkAno443i_HsDF2lXNbfdWI41cfS1JJJqEl4/s640/blogger-image-1459149054.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoGvRvWzg-xglchvbiBXRiONHmsbeqKvs1UyhZWkRYXgiZrAzVUKB-e08JTn_84x_iSslE9FNxbljKfb1pR1Cm53Hsb9EuLQnFEAbQU2jfkAno443i_HsDF2lXNbfdWI41cfS1JJJqEl4/s640/blogger-image-1459149054.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jeff had worn it for the first time that night in the cold rain.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">He hadn't washed it prior to wearing it and the indigo dye had rubbed off on his skin.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYJikbf89F4Irt9_UxeBhEvPLW6pxt33GUWd9MquVzW3PUlghkDzqP3WQRKAA0DcWeka2N4ApRiefjn_DMZCjk8tyTWCi-JGG8EOu62y5Tkti72FJH9ZQkUca3_3m9JLbbgsV2aOT0oKo/s640/blogger-image-435741741.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYJikbf89F4Irt9_UxeBhEvPLW6pxt33GUWd9MquVzW3PUlghkDzqP3WQRKAA0DcWeka2N4ApRiefjn_DMZCjk8tyTWCi-JGG8EOu62y5Tkti72FJH9ZQkUca3_3m9JLbbgsV2aOT0oKo/s640/blogger-image-435741741.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jeff and I looked at one another across that ER triage room as we both came to the same realization.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Jeff calmly took the blood pressure cuff off of his arm, the oxygen sensor off of his finger and changed back into his shirt. He got up off the gurney. As he walked past me, I handed him the car keys. He never uttered a word.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I was left there to explain to the doctor and two nurses what had happened and to close out the paper work.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I am sure that it is a story that they still tell to this day. Luckily, they were all chortling so hard, they didn't charge us anything for our whirlwind visit.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">So even though Jeff was the primary focus of this tale of chagrin, it was still pretty embarrassing to have to apologize to the Emergency Room staff for not washing my husband's new shirt before he wore it.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-45264001049870694322015-10-29T13:10:00.003-07:002015-10-29T13:23:43.553-07:00The glaring facts about my household<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Did you know that a group of cats is called a glaring? I have enough feline population in my house to actually say I have a glaring.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In honor of National Cat Day, I'd like to formally introduce my brood:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">First up, Kendall:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxsfT468XH2O8qpZ2Fl3VxwbCwRTlUXe-BrB_ZrDeuJFnxfsfOE07tmi1Jd6Q-rqQoZCiHnifrBii0tKKCRGPa2BCxQ_LrlnbBJyI0sjeS5vjvHZx4np_MsknOJ8DJ744MSkc20MYhPtA/s640/blogger-image-1854039100.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxsfT468XH2O8qpZ2Fl3VxwbCwRTlUXe-BrB_ZrDeuJFnxfsfOE07tmi1Jd6Q-rqQoZCiHnifrBii0tKKCRGPa2BCxQ_LrlnbBJyI0sjeS5vjvHZx4np_MsknOJ8DJ744MSkc20MYhPtA/s640/blogger-image-1854039100.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">She's our oldest cat...somewhere around the 13-14 year old age. She recently cost me a small <a href="http://psb1969.blogspot.com/2015/10/my-friday-off.html" target="_blank">fortune</a> and the better part of my day off when I thought she was dying of terminal cancer that was bloating her body and causing her distress. Turns out she was just fat and had a UTI.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Also? Every time our daughter has had a boyfriend of any duration, when they'd break up and the guy quit coming around, Kendall would go into mourning and groom all of the fur off of her stomach.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Then there is Izby:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic82hCSvZA5-ucEpx_Go9Ae8iJH4MdWJrMNBk95nc0MTXG9x3lom2kAJXzpCT_EC33g8SaEE5NIczczNm0FRVd26BFQUbScp6WrRIVwvM8QvqH7JPlJTcPQowFeuUwD0i2kf375kEe2Jg/s640/blogger-image--1569291501.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic82hCSvZA5-ucEpx_Go9Ae8iJH4MdWJrMNBk95nc0MTXG9x3lom2kAJXzpCT_EC33g8SaEE5NIczczNm0FRVd26BFQUbScp6WrRIVwvM8QvqH7JPlJTcPQowFeuUwD0i2kf375kEe2Jg/s640/blogger-image--1569291501.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4lw2eh0-q2NrlrtyQ9YmudDOFi2FLDtISMYxCBhlsHsK126VXTJRxsq5WJ9JsDd5hXRlF0aZ7nUT2xD7Y66_I30tD45eb39TFoK_vA3geoZ2o_6vkhft_4wDOe0LwDv-Sfsokj1Pezcw/s640/blogger-image-1577976788.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4lw2eh0-q2NrlrtyQ9YmudDOFi2FLDtISMYxCBhlsHsK126VXTJRxsq5WJ9JsDd5hXRlF0aZ7nUT2xD7Y66_I30tD45eb39TFoK_vA3geoZ2o_6vkhft_4wDOe0LwDv-Sfsokj1Pezcw/s640/blogger-image-1577976788.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He was the runt of the litter of a feral cat living underneath one of Mileena's friend's house. We got him when he was teeny tiny. Being the runt, he always had sort of a fragile constitution. He is also incredibly bow-legged:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4lw2eh0-q2NrlrtyQ9YmudDOFi2FLDtISMYxCBhlsHsK126VXTJRxsq5WJ9JsDd5hXRlF0aZ7nUT2xD7Y66_I30tD45eb39TFoK_vA3geoZ2o_6vkhft_4wDOe0LwDv-Sfsokj1Pezcw/s640/blogger-image-1577976788.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-gUq9HY6IgkEAd3PKzMbM25naCKN2fuPR_f_8kOlTAIz4WolzsXKl5ymsnrXdCvnI136F4xoEpTQfhnFx84mWXTouzfD1Fa21O2YabwFiiRx2lFfW0LCXLXY4yYtcodQLP_BOwccY_w4/s640/blogger-image--1440031303.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-gUq9HY6IgkEAd3PKzMbM25naCKN2fuPR_f_8kOlTAIz4WolzsXKl5ymsnrXdCvnI136F4xoEpTQfhnFx84mWXTouzfD1Fa21O2YabwFiiRx2lFfW0LCXLXY4yYtcodQLP_BOwccY_w4/s640/blogger-image--1440031303.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">These days, he isn't such a delicate flower anymore. He does have a weird fascination with the sticky sheets from lint rollers. He begs for them. Seriously. He'll hear you using the lint roller, come running and meow at you until you tear off a sheet and stick it on his back. At that time he will act as if his back end is paralyzed:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/egDf9w57lYA/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/egDf9w57lYA?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But after he's schlumped around the house dragging his back legs behind him for awhile, he stops and pulls the sheet off his back and eviscerates it:</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic82hCSvZA5-ucEpx_Go9Ae8iJH4MdWJrMNBk95nc0MTXG9x3lom2kAJXzpCT_EC33g8SaEE5NIczczNm0FRVd26BFQUbScp6WrRIVwvM8QvqH7JPlJTcPQowFeuUwD0i2kf375kEe2Jg/s640/blogger-image--1569291501.jpg" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then there's Daisy Faye:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh85iZ76QT3-UtgjD5PZLPuimfAnlNq3LqmNMcY_JXq5RD79IjvyWkLLqgdSjZ04iXVCFSW0jRnnPWrXIzrAAmITPMBFjHoDwcjxOwFtRZaskITTN4vz0vSOosFuMJK-6XDynnAE7aIZU/s640/blogger-image-1584952010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh85iZ76QT3-UtgjD5PZLPuimfAnlNq3LqmNMcY_JXq5RD79IjvyWkLLqgdSjZ04iXVCFSW0jRnnPWrXIzrAAmITPMBFjHoDwcjxOwFtRZaskITTN4vz0vSOosFuMJK-6XDynnAE7aIZU/s640/blogger-image-1584952010.jpg" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt0_6bm0cWVHDI6C9xdI4hywZTE2xJp7oM8BDGQejsjztvQHF5jR2-2NPrPHFqb5KQvTy__4YpZoGeWp5sS7bevHBBJ4h9wBI3ImQH42AcAQ63BGjbzrT9cLUuO3Nhx_LHt2tvzuSFQuY/s640/blogger-image-2060787605.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt0_6bm0cWVHDI6C9xdI4hywZTE2xJp7oM8BDGQejsjztvQHF5jR2-2NPrPHFqb5KQvTy__4YpZoGeWp5sS7bevHBBJ4h9wBI3ImQH42AcAQ63BGjbzrT9cLUuO3Nhx_LHt2tvzuSFQuY/s640/blogger-image-2060787605.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Isn't she precious? Daisy only weighs a tich over 5 pounds, and she's two and half years old. We just got her spayed because the vet really wanted her over 5 pounds pre-surgery. Being such a dainty, sweet looking thing, you'd have no idea what a whirling dervish she becomes when you try to do anything besides pet or play with her. Cleaning ears, clipping nails, administering medication?? It's about like oiling a running chainsaw. I took her back to the vet's office to get her stitches removed and the vet was, "Would you like to hold your baby while I get these stitches out?" and I was all, "Hell no, I'm not paying $50 for this visit just to bleed my own blood, thank you very much." It took the vet and two techs to get the four stitches out. I was the only one unscathed. That was half a Benjamin I got my value out of.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Here's Daisy having a Maury Povich-style throw down for squatting rights to the world's most cherished cat-possession: a cardboard box.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXwfq6RRFm-2X8dDpAMvrbzr2lvL_I-nIBiprTgiqbLo965JFsChTHxzxwIbj09KT2BK4CGSm1NzzLKKsv8R7NZ7Ss5AMz93jC0IVUX54CesGEBlDK9m2Vk3aiMnDRkExPX5lIzedKsuc/s640/blogger-image--824494197.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh85iZ76QT3-UtgjD5PZLPuimfAnlNq3LqmNMcY_JXq5RD79IjvyWkLLqgdSjZ04iXVCFSW0jRnnPWrXIzrAAmITPMBFjHoDwcjxOwFtRZaskITTN4vz0vSOosFuMJK-6XDynnAE7aIZU/s640/blogger-image-1584952010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/FN2ebXdj_YY/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FN2ebXdj_YY?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finally, there's Maxx:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoW2omDpHSrf9qL9d-ZXDbN58zUETdw5MyUW_dP-FL7JQsX2WKYduEnhgTSiOJDHaCakGr9Z7pvWOI8eNXchJOkZeo4X5eJfxnBp_c_Enlu5FJBy4puvom7JKCS8SCjZ99VDqeiaTkIpg/s640/blogger-image--1646344068.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoW2omDpHSrf9qL9d-ZXDbN58zUETdw5MyUW_dP-FL7JQsX2WKYduEnhgTSiOJDHaCakGr9Z7pvWOI8eNXchJOkZeo4X5eJfxnBp_c_Enlu5FJBy4puvom7JKCS8SCjZ99VDqeiaTkIpg/s640/blogger-image--1646344068.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Maxx is 18+ pounds of Laid-back dude.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieJ0yR1qzES38RBq7TitM7MQfTxEGatb4IqfNV8rrk5APvq8BUPrE20SCcSGUAzMoJ9-PoSZEFoD7XiVqV3Mq3uNsZrn7qHWQ4z0gG0Yq58ATU9AWnDZNkKtMMZ8dnPTbrfDe3bsQ_GoE/s640/blogger-image--1053645266.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieJ0yR1qzES38RBq7TitM7MQfTxEGatb4IqfNV8rrk5APvq8BUPrE20SCcSGUAzMoJ9-PoSZEFoD7XiVqV3Mq3uNsZrn7qHWQ4z0gG0Yq58ATU9AWnDZNkKtMMZ8dnPTbrfDe3bsQ_GoE/s640/blogger-image--1053645266.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And I mean LAAAAAAID back.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirX7lLLJRPQP3nfWs-sKkD_M7qo5SJnKi6BpfFZIqv7M_NfasRX8HbOYYABJ9gh4xfmD3FRE-aSdipCDivIf18N13_3Wmz2GeNHEfxSZUa8Ktizq2DSC5m7H_daEEPRc_K1fUhkZMpp3U/s640/blogger-image-912665645.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirX7lLLJRPQP3nfWs-sKkD_M7qo5SJnKi6BpfFZIqv7M_NfasRX8HbOYYABJ9gh4xfmD3FRE-aSdipCDivIf18N13_3Wmz2GeNHEfxSZUa8Ktizq2DSC5m7H_daEEPRc_K1fUhkZMpp3U/s640/blogger-image-912665645.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There are only a couple of things that get him riled. One of the things that Maxx does not care for?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Hats.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsxiDkQpqCm6TOD8ocsMcJVBb28XWtUFl_5rDxlPn1nEedtvJN1uM5hT4kFzlgTCgwW_iWuszy_XJvc46Ol2F8c_iLlGCDYHXG_PHMh1xoahujShAATnDwIrqbjXV042XHds3sTo5yNEc/s640/blogger-image--1296574644.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsxiDkQpqCm6TOD8ocsMcJVBb28XWtUFl_5rDxlPn1nEedtvJN1uM5hT4kFzlgTCgwW_iWuszy_XJvc46Ol2F8c_iLlGCDYHXG_PHMh1xoahujShAATnDwIrqbjXV042XHds3sTo5yNEc/s640/blogger-image--1296574644.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirilFCIaNFPSdjAJyKK3aR8ZSCw2XNiyb7X3pxR8WPpi129tGgNgg6yej1qfR9WhoJMBxBN2nkUEX-AsS8K-qjYV7ZvMfyeHc4I0-tUOsHpc3s1IKLGWLenl4ZLqoEwTtakrONCSSt4Cw/s640/blogger-image--1481070405.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirilFCIaNFPSdjAJyKK3aR8ZSCw2XNiyb7X3pxR8WPpi129tGgNgg6yej1qfR9WhoJMBxBN2nkUEX-AsS8K-qjYV7ZvMfyeHc4I0-tUOsHpc3s1IKLGWLenl4ZLqoEwTtakrONCSSt4Cw/s640/blogger-image--1481070405.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Birthday hats get on his nerves...but he really, really hates hats that are foreign. He is not one who appreciates the celebration of Cinco De Mayo...lemme tell you.</span></div>
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsxiDkQpqCm6TOD8ocsMcJVBb28XWtUFl_5rDxlPn1nEedtvJN1uM5hT4kFzlgTCgwW_iWuszy_XJvc46Ol2F8c_iLlGCDYHXG_PHMh1xoahujShAATnDwIrqbjXV042XHds3sTo5yNEc/s640/blogger-image--1296574644.jpg" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The other thing that Maxx cannot stand? (and that I cannot explain? Because let's be honest, the hat thing surprises no one. Cat in the Hat, my butt, Dr. Seus. Find me a tam o'shanter wearing tabby that is happy about it. I dare you.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Anyway, where was I? Oh...Maxx's other peeve...the HVAC system in our house.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">He goes around the entire first floor pulling the vent covers off:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsxiDkQpqCm6TOD8ocsMcJVBb28XWtUFl_5rDxlPn1nEedtvJN1uM5hT4kFzlgTCgwW_iWuszy_XJvc46Ol2F8c_iLlGCDYHXG_PHMh1xoahujShAATnDwIrqbjXV042XHds3sTo5yNEc/s640/blogger-image--1296574644.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmxCG7wLETaH_qyqLyj1Qu9_eiBmbN_S7iv7Q28zfk1-TwhouO4v_IxxrQBQNGauqpEqaKjNP8YVhcK_CBBJK0907w0Vl67lPe0B9w6GsQ4u_zCFakHDO-Fl0oCfB3xMz5r-c4jsHYNIU/s640/blogger-image-2003476914.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmxCG7wLETaH_qyqLyj1Qu9_eiBmbN_S7iv7Q28zfk1-TwhouO4v_IxxrQBQNGauqpEqaKjNP8YVhcK_CBBJK0907w0Vl67lPe0B9w6GsQ4u_zCFakHDO-Fl0oCfB3xMz5r-c4jsHYNIU/s640/blogger-image-2003476914.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wwNBaJUaLYw/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wwNBaJUaLYw?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've even caught him attempting to pull apart the return grill.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_8Tc32bT66Y/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_8Tc32bT66Y?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Jeff's of the opinion that Maxx doesn't actually hate the HVAC system, but thinks that it is a potential escape route to the great outdoors. He (Maxx, not Jeff) is very convinced that he is a wild beast that needs to poop in real dirt (honestly, the few times he's gotten past us and darted outside, he ran to the nearest bald patch in the yard and dug a spot and pooped. What's up with that?) But since he is basically the color of smoke and shadows, we can't let him out or we'd never find him again.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">So this is my clowder (that's another word for a group of cats). Hope you enjoyed meeting them.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-85119554561514617802015-10-27T07:46:00.002-07:002015-10-27T11:35:43.020-07:00Doctor's Orders<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The About 3 years ago, our Golden Retriever, Simba, (then only two years old) started having seizures. They were very frightening, but were infrequent. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC9xUtWWHNAfoM-PEXnV0rwHgItTiGcyrMiDPMHnSQPuxtRKRuMOa7nnlyQPqDpqPaH1OAQ9faV9rPMGwJncK_uYXAO1j4tst4TfDqe0mFW8SXVYkQtyNZwC-POQzWNmsaOmsWY3A9kMs/s640/blogger-image--1683722233.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC9xUtWWHNAfoM-PEXnV0rwHgItTiGcyrMiDPMHnSQPuxtRKRuMOa7nnlyQPqDpqPaH1OAQ9faV9rPMGwJncK_uYXAO1j4tst4TfDqe0mFW8SXVYkQtyNZwC-POQzWNmsaOmsWY3A9kMs/s640/blogger-image--1683722233.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">The very first one happened in the peak of summer while playing his very favorite thing in the world: fetch the tennis ball.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIZ_S0TFwPr1vo7ntPmUA4VcH-093yNpXPJ2FNUYyM_kJb5XIsa6sbJrq_FzzVhKMN18HHXYd6YND9toaUaeqaMrW3NwdRQW2ZCTOBH4q6U9ZqMIrrxSGhLEhgrEHlCcE5D8NnclGzO_s/s640/blogger-image--1010956775.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIZ_S0TFwPr1vo7ntPmUA4VcH-093yNpXPJ2FNUYyM_kJb5XIsa6sbJrq_FzzVhKMN18HHXYd6YND9toaUaeqaMrW3NwdRQW2ZCTOBH4q6U9ZqMIrrxSGhLEhgrEHlCcE5D8NnclGzO_s/s640/blogger-image--1010956775.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">(I wish that ANYTHING made as happy as a tennis ball makes Simba.)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipZbnffQN4WRKbIt3xIln_lUfKucaZD-fRVxMuHiUiq6F_fLAloW3fnShdk597IlPMB3oFRlmS2Z4RVMdVVMW0S3osrNOP07OiPJCLn5_OZ_WA7uDQbR-jvdbsNWhHrb6Nqaa5_-Vjkf4/s640/blogger-image--823427654.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxKenRxg8qNWbjHBK-LxsJ2NSc8HNmhNiJKpQEYNZNb3N3hsJt0py2B3GtfW45WXbmVVcWHMnDyqPZNpoRvsIObNqkOcnMT_OoZvwuPAIjA_nnKe6ELjOSsPogz9SrsdDwRFsRDR-aPG8/s640/blogger-image-923365213.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxKenRxg8qNWbjHBK-LxsJ2NSc8HNmhNiJKpQEYNZNb3N3hsJt0py2B3GtfW45WXbmVVcWHMnDyqPZNpoRvsIObNqkOcnMT_OoZvwuPAIjA_nnKe6ELjOSsPogz9SrsdDwRFsRDR-aPG8/s640/blogger-image-923365213.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We had been playing ball for quite some time in the middle of the afternoon on a hot-as-the-hinges-of-hell Alabama summer day...so when Simba started staggering and looking disoriented, we thought we'd let him over-do it and that he was having a heat-stress related episode.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">A couple of months later, it happened when we were inside and nothing special was going on...we managed to bundle him in the car and get him to the vet's office...at which time he had completely recovered and the vet couldn't really determine what had happened.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">As time went on, we managed to record an episode...we went back to the vet and they determined that he had mild epilepsy...not uncommon in goldens. They put him on a six-month regimen of anti-seizure meds and told us to keep track of any episodes. After six months, he had only had one very quick, very mild attack. So we went back for his checkup and the vet said we'd keep him on this medication.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">However, the cost of the medication had gone up significantly...when they gave us the 6-months supply, the cost had been about $70. Now, a one-month supply was gonna run about $60 at the vet's office. The vet tech on hand suggested that I call around local pharmacies and see what their cash price would be.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I did...and CVS (where we humans in our family get our meds filled) had the lowest price...$16.29 for a month.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">The vet gave me the written prescription and I dropped it off. The pharmacy chick asked me what Simba's birthday was...I told her I wasn't sure on the exact date...but that he'd been born in November of 2010...so she tells me that she's just gonna put 11-01-10 into the system. I told her fine...that I'd be by the next day to pick it up.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Next day, new pharmacy chick:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: I'd like to pick up a prescription I dropped off yesterday for Arensmeyer</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">PC: Yes ma'am. Oh...you should know that your insurance didn't cover this.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: I know. Simba isn't on my insurance.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">PC: Oh. Okay. Well, I need his driver's license number, because Phenobarbital is a controlled substance.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: Simba is my dog. He's also only five. Either way, no driver's license.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">PC: Well, I have to have a driver's license number.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: Why don't I give you mine?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">PC: He has to be a family member.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: He's my DOG.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">PC: But this is a controlled substance.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: Can you use my driver's license number if I say I'm his mother?<br /><br />PC: Yes, but your insurance will probably still not cover it.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: (sigh) I understand. BECAUSE HE'S A DOG. It's okay. Don't try to run it through insurance.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">PC: I really am supposed to have some identification for the patient.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: (Heavy sigh) Well, he's a dog, so he doesn't have any identification.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">PC: What is your son's Date of Birth?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Me: (Heavier sigh) November 2010.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnK1qtr_MvZXwmtiIbmEVZ86ZxFY45s9FXPvTNlYSmjU6I27jOV6b4rnXFTTaXWmUf6Rjt-mnqW50EATgBlIHWeckbkB_LwcA5jHhb6TOCDapSXHvTubZXHGK_QdoLth2MVjzImkllh3I/s640/blogger-image-1746006212.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnK1qtr_MvZXwmtiIbmEVZ86ZxFY45s9FXPvTNlYSmjU6I27jOV6b4rnXFTTaXWmUf6Rjt-mnqW50EATgBlIHWeckbkB_LwcA5jHhb6TOCDapSXHvTubZXHGK_QdoLth2MVjzImkllh3I/s640/blogger-image-1746006212.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hope it's not this complicated every month.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-43672989125143426862015-10-16T12:10:00.001-07:002015-10-16T12:10:16.811-07:00My Friday Off<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It started well enough.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Slept in 'til about 7:30, made a cup of coffee, went out onto the back porch with Simba to enjoy the crisp October morning.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUrv9REvw4mV-cNwtQQod7rnGOWSJPInJpvPwDvX9aMVO-2hp8elQTP-2OfLbohGxFEtrsPWVqtKXEhKZ5ZQ9C0EjvpL5XQTXc5bISDhI9ICR8JhdCRAyTsVV7cHmvZqHBPOKiQTpT4fU/s640/blogger-image--1216381456.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUrv9REvw4mV-cNwtQQod7rnGOWSJPInJpvPwDvX9aMVO-2hp8elQTP-2OfLbohGxFEtrsPWVqtKXEhKZ5ZQ9C0EjvpL5XQTXc5bISDhI9ICR8JhdCRAyTsVV7cHmvZqHBPOKiQTpT4fU/s640/blogger-image--1216381456.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj_HC5rB-zSfcwb3X3ibOQuYP18sLdyg-A7XRPzqEuK46t6CbDEIzoqdJbqJfGIkbB_bsHCbjp1_tdmloyOiXCBWjtuDfyqAMsY98hxBe1j30qvAXOgRn9szJmd5Hm_7h9UNB31QnjuQg/s640/blogger-image--1257307285.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj_HC5rB-zSfcwb3X3ibOQuYP18sLdyg-A7XRPzqEuK46t6CbDEIzoqdJbqJfGIkbB_bsHCbjp1_tdmloyOiXCBWjtuDfyqAMsY98hxBe1j30qvAXOgRn9szJmd5Hm_7h9UNB31QnjuQg/s640/blogger-image--1257307285.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then I check my phone while I'm enjoying my morning java and see the text from Jeff that he sent to me. He'd had to work today, and so was up early and fed the animals. He also had to deal with cleaning up cat scat. For the past few weeks, we'd been having some inappropriate bathroom (or lack thereof) behavior out of our oldest cat, Kendall.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Also...while she has never been the most petite flower in the garden, she had seemed to put on some pretty significant weight lately.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn_Ze1MurP6vk-evk9wExqpnndWmdGfMlTXd32rKqP81GH8h3YYBizzTqbop-0rbcXxPlIaOPYq4DXnxP8Pzr2CMfdwjznY_fygMNY7U4Y3g2c3mmPQhpA_cnPUyBKksdNp57uveobyh8/s640/blogger-image-1967508048.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn_Ze1MurP6vk-evk9wExqpnndWmdGfMlTXd32rKqP81GH8h3YYBizzTqbop-0rbcXxPlIaOPYq4DXnxP8Pzr2CMfdwjznY_fygMNY7U4Y3g2c3mmPQhpA_cnPUyBKksdNp57uveobyh8/s640/blogger-image-1967508048.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I gathered up my relaxing, coffee drinking paraphernalia and went inside to gather up the cat to take her to the vet.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I went in to the vet's office really thinking that he would tell me that she had abdominal tumors. They are common in cats her age (13), particularly tabbies.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Well, 3 1/2 hours later, a significant loss of hair by Kendall:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUrv9REvw4mV-cNwtQQod7rnGOWSJPInJpvPwDvX9aMVO-2hp8elQTP-2OfLbohGxFEtrsPWVqtKXEhKZ5ZQ9C0EjvpL5XQTXc5bISDhI9ICR8JhdCRAyTsVV7cHmvZqHBPOKiQTpT4fU/s640/blogger-image--1216381456.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, I wore yoga pants to the vet's office. Turn me in to What Not to Wear...anything Clinton and Stacy would've put me in would have just been covered in cat hair too.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And a significant DECREASE in my bank account:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnYiSCH6yPTfzmOLa_HPV4jGWdU1z3aC5hJ_LWb6P_tpIRCXE9wA9EIM7ORsi2Cr5XzbqC3wdUtUB70ENc4DcTo2mV4tvc1C4HPGilFnD5BLJv5TLAc4U9ILunmAQ0ZUjVzctqAFN4N5Q/s640/blogger-image-1362790987.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnYiSCH6yPTfzmOLa_HPV4jGWdU1z3aC5hJ_LWb6P_tpIRCXE9wA9EIM7ORsi2Cr5XzbqC3wdUtUB70ENc4DcTo2mV4tvc1C4HPGilFnD5BLJv5TLAc4U9ILunmAQ0ZUjVzctqAFN4N5Q/s640/blogger-image-1362790987.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and the verdict came back...Urinary Tract Infection.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">The vet WAS pretty certain that something was up with how large her girth was. He sonogrammed for tumors and/or fluid, he even did a abdominal tap with a syringe...final diagnoses was TFA (The Fat Ass).</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">He gave me a prescription antibiotic ($56.44) and told me to keep her isolated with her own litter box until things were better. He also suggested that I monitor her caloric intake while she was not eating with the collective. (To counteract TFA).</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Since Mileena is away at college (probably won't be home until Thanksgiving) I decided to sequester Kendall in her bathroom.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">For the past hour Kendall has been loudly singing the song of her people in protest of her incarceration.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">The others have set up a vigil to show their solidarity in the face of this injustice.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzGUKZjF7IMtCfpbLjucAMo4zy_wgju3aPIFzdEplLaXH_BMhl4Pz-Hj0E5GBbby10_gezX0vK8EpzDUXMvwDkP8RROIb_MJSr7wE9vzw6V2qjqAJM6cBDcTqPoqK5NRMNNErlbXB9v3Q/s640/blogger-image--760779091.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzGUKZjF7IMtCfpbLjucAMo4zy_wgju3aPIFzdEplLaXH_BMhl4Pz-Hj0E5GBbby10_gezX0vK8EpzDUXMvwDkP8RROIb_MJSr7wE9vzw6V2qjqAJM6cBDcTqPoqK5NRMNNErlbXB9v3Q/s640/blogger-image--760779091.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm out $300 and the larger part of my "day off".</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Sigh.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-27831312009078145962015-10-09T08:38:00.000-07:002015-10-09T08:40:22.497-07:00Collared<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifQ5ofYDM5EfmyR_CStS6LnoPeYWqvSDQW0KmE0aflBAoVNDjDt_rzg5U92rj-3WpRcaybfnQtkWkImAi2Q5YIQQkzilDc_y_yP98vrIBdAwtIIncbQtv6u0BHKTfzy4mU-ENu4TO8e9E/s640/blogger-image--2072645056.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifQ5ofYDM5EfmyR_CStS6LnoPeYWqvSDQW0KmE0aflBAoVNDjDt_rzg5U92rj-3WpRcaybfnQtkWkImAi2Q5YIQQkzilDc_y_yP98vrIBdAwtIIncbQtv6u0BHKTfzy4mU-ENu4TO8e9E/s640/blogger-image--2072645056.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLyIJ9QNGBcC5VNhB3rqdOON7xGBvNsdzIyODzqoa5MGakBArROW5n1WP0hK4-c22f6Vwbm3ezYTbOlblW6LUSACcsvSsWTzJxFQtJqEcMlx9zQCdROSmBA_tG0MIGAA5-H3dnngDNFbQ/s640/blogger-image-476300695.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLyIJ9QNGBcC5VNhB3rqdOON7xGBvNsdzIyODzqoa5MGakBArROW5n1WP0hK4-c22f6Vwbm3ezYTbOlblW6LUSACcsvSsWTzJxFQtJqEcMlx9zQCdROSmBA_tG0MIGAA5-H3dnngDNFbQ/s640/blogger-image-476300695.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1RWrDq2Nwz4KN4p2WOKaJ-8J1mwyv5sFkp4VXbLkBG38HeKipXLhgbtBea312ClkTjjakx7RN6JaWc55sD1k-C86pHgLECsjtWBLZru0rOiv92dlnCdGlICPUp5WzyyIdEv1Tvghu1Ng/s640/blogger-image-1923544405.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1RWrDq2Nwz4KN4p2WOKaJ-8J1mwyv5sFkp4VXbLkBG38HeKipXLhgbtBea312ClkTjjakx7RN6JaWc55sD1k-C86pHgLECsjtWBLZru0rOiv92dlnCdGlICPUp5WzyyIdEv1Tvghu1Ng/s640/blogger-image-1923544405.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now, I don't get political on my blog. This is...99% of the time... a fun and goofy place. And I don't want this post to be political, per se. Even if it is about a politician....it's not about that politician's politics...if you get my drift.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">But I do have to bring to your attention a very serious issue that the media seems to have largely ignored. An issue that something has GOT to be done about. Not just for the good of our nation, but for the good of mankind.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I'm talking about Hillary Clinton's horrible collar choices.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">It's been an issue for YEARS, but her absurd collar facination reached its peak hideousness at this year's Iowa State Fair:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQkigX5l9_QLL7GOWRZ3AY0Kw8EpNYL-B6xvXwSe1MLjOdumsxi1QLGghhqMJqEOzJ_anr2S6S3GotLsw2zy4LdgHM2oOxgGBUY4v6ruMInommBDvySghF7bRB-Z3PqTr3f0Hg6VfdAoo/s640/blogger-image-1453045622.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQkigX5l9_QLL7GOWRZ3AY0Kw8EpNYL-B6xvXwSe1MLjOdumsxi1QLGghhqMJqEOzJ_anr2S6S3GotLsw2zy4LdgHM2oOxgGBUY4v6ruMInommBDvySghF7bRB-Z3PqTr3f0Hg6VfdAoo/s640/blogger-image-1453045622.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Who let her appear in public wearing this? She's running for the highest office in our great nation...doesn't she have a campaign manager or something? The gingham print...I guess I understand because she was going to a state fair. But what is with the gigantic neck hole bordered by a 4" tall stiff collar? Is it so she can take it on and off without unbuttoning it or messing up her hair?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">That's when I started looking at older photos of Hillary and realized that this affliction of hers for bad collar choices has been building for some time.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I think it started innocently enough. Who among us hasn't donned a Mandarin style collar and found it flattering?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLyIJ9QNGBcC5VNhB3rqdOON7xGBvNsdzIyODzqoa5MGakBArROW5n1WP0hK4-c22f6Vwbm3ezYTbOlblW6LUSACcsvSsWTzJxFQtJqEcMlx9zQCdROSmBA_tG0MIGAA5-H3dnngDNFbQ/s640/blogger-image-476300695.jpg" /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">But then the collars started getting a little too stiff</span></div>
<div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ9ccI_XmyK2zCy7axKHl6ATDRK2eBul1m_cRZYPdDSmP0Rq8qduVyFSD7OPrU9kNejvXKUdWzonFilMaFnF65WI0K7TTanmIoMAfPfhQG_lTW4_MV1MqSAlpVmYctBw10HfgqHMybQYw/s640/blogger-image--695817019.jpg" /></div>
<div align="left">
<br /></div>
<div align="left">
<br /></div>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And a little too high</span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6KHQnC8Na4GDEkcghB1TrjgM05BfsEqulC0vMCcadDnysPPe2FI08OeIA8yc_88W6H3jgvRondJrGVp2f9gSveRfQp3eXSbf3M113U8fCWnoITXAz7efG92yprWojwdMx8YqHMsey5eg/s640/blogger-image--164971094.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6KHQnC8Na4GDEkcghB1TrjgM05BfsEqulC0vMCcadDnysPPe2FI08OeIA8yc_88W6H3jgvRondJrGVp2f9gSveRfQp3eXSbf3M113U8fCWnoITXAz7efG92yprWojwdMx8YqHMsey5eg/s640/blogger-image--164971094.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">And then the neck holes started to grow</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsrMiCRDwcQroZCPCfnig1AkATh04Pl4lgCs5mDAbl2gt3SN7kyScL4d29pNQhqJ5kVgGYPgebmbozT2SsJ4ojUvAz0osFmxm-4lvea3M0kqhnRS8zl7Fm2xt4TYg_zIDZkULnvsWD6wc/s640/blogger-image-203870274.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsrMiCRDwcQroZCPCfnig1AkATh04Pl4lgCs5mDAbl2gt3SN7kyScL4d29pNQhqJ5kVgGYPgebmbozT2SsJ4ojUvAz0osFmxm-4lvea3M0kqhnRS8zl7Fm2xt4TYg_zIDZkULnvsWD6wc/s640/blogger-image-203870274.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Yet no one said anything and the travesty continued its downward spiral.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirxbtOurPegUoM6IEAXMJxyw0o1MyrZ6Hk2j5Y54iccKoTnUqOlILHYZI4yxf7HY6SDy6X4EIk1GvGZ-JweqAPSZ_0c_NZSynjzIcQJwWjwZFiRXsmxmkeffBZD7vqedeXC_-nNXTVdXw/s640/blogger-image--513113285.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirxbtOurPegUoM6IEAXMJxyw0o1MyrZ6Hk2j5Y54iccKoTnUqOlILHYZI4yxf7HY6SDy6X4EIk1GvGZ-JweqAPSZ_0c_NZSynjzIcQJwWjwZFiRXsmxmkeffBZD7vqedeXC_-nNXTVdXw/s640/blogger-image--513113285.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Don't you try a charming wink at ME, Hillary. That collar is out of hand.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifQ5ofYDM5EfmyR_CStS6LnoPeYWqvSDQW0KmE0aflBAoVNDjDt_rzg5U92rj-3WpRcaybfnQtkWkImAi2Q5YIQQkzilDc_y_yP98vrIBdAwtIIncbQtv6u0BHKTfzy4mU-ENu4TO8e9E/s640/blogger-image--2072645056.jpg" /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
And you can't just put lace on it and call it "fancy" either. You look like your neck is the center tier of a wedding cake.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
I think it is about time that we, as a nation, demand that these collar atrocities cease. Need I point out AGAIN that Hillary Clinton is running for President of the United States? Do you know how much influence such a person can have on the fashion trends of the times? Just look at Sarah Palin...love her or hate her, there's no denying the hair bumps that started appearing EVERYWHERE after she became the Republican VP nominee. If we don't stop this collar aberration now...we will all be walking around in jackets that look like we're wearing a dog's cone of shame come election day 2016.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Also...I have a theory about from whence Hillary's collar pathos came.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
I have read numerous accounts of how, when she was a child, the young Miss Hillary Diane Rodham wrote a letter to NASA, beseeching them to allow her into the Space Program. She claims that they wrote her back telling her that women couldn't be astronauts and crushed her ambition for participation in manned (wommaned?) space flight.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
I think that Hillary's crushed dreams of being part of a mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before created a deep seated unrequited longing. A longing that has manifested itself in her poor clothing choices.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Observe and tell me I'm wrong:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1RWrDq2Nwz4KN4p2WOKaJ-8J1mwyv5sFkp4VXbLkBG38HeKipXLhgbtBea312ClkTjjakx7RN6JaWc55sD1k-C86pHgLECsjtWBLZru0rOiv92dlnCdGlICPUp5WzyyIdEv1Tvghu1Ng/s640/blogger-image-1923544405.jpg" /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirxbtOurPegUoM6IEAXMJxyw0o1MyrZ6Hk2j5Y54iccKoTnUqOlILHYZI4yxf7HY6SDy6X4EIk1GvGZ-JweqAPSZ_0c_NZSynjzIcQJwWjwZFiRXsmxmkeffBZD7vqedeXC_-nNXTVdXw/s640/blogger-image--513113285.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPesP6AohHEN5RW-lmHYydHDmjS-OM10nuhm42yb1u6PYSeHaLa6l6CytndPeAtmgnEAvs1-_P2srH6r9XGz342Ny2UK6DcAAKsufhpJk0CO3swt6tTh42_mrDCTSDCfm69CQvPl3gfHA/s640/blogger-image--54557533.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ut6jGpMbTQCGSzDaA5Nu1gl1YzPanT5SGhlIrjbAbMTrkVpQ_MXhg1yYxLr5lqq4cNjU-lQzjoaWWSAgj6T1Lhr5pbdF7pUWcFYzhjgERBInxHohHcsPw90uHrTjsxr8gWUyB7yDR6E/s640/blogger-image-3357242.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ut6jGpMbTQCGSzDaA5Nu1gl1YzPanT5SGhlIrjbAbMTrkVpQ_MXhg1yYxLr5lqq4cNjU-lQzjoaWWSAgj6T1Lhr5pbdF7pUWcFYzhjgERBInxHohHcsPw90uHrTjsxr8gWUyB7yDR6E/s640/blogger-image-3357242.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ9ccI_XmyK2zCy7axKHl6ATDRK2eBul1m_cRZYPdDSmP0Rq8qduVyFSD7OPrU9kNejvXKUdWzonFilMaFnF65WI0K7TTanmIoMAfPfhQG_lTW4_MV1MqSAlpVmYctBw10HfgqHMybQYw/s640/blogger-image--695817019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz3x-D-V2usvpbTkIl0JnY7ehDRWa4dRlzkZn1cXRfeCGlHQ4wrV1vhwvaHj8jockDZlQbzjnldrupkS0BpoF2xYPbGQO65sd0zI2Ap-JfjWxq-DR9_CNVHa_ggw4lRpgc_qadt8gxbQY/s640/blogger-image-1190584380.jpg" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">They allow women in space now, Hil. It's time to let it go.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">LET. IT. GO.</span></div>
<div align="left">
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-79259794453196786362015-09-30T13:21:00.001-07:002015-10-01T06:41:15.524-07:00Baggage<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I do not spend a lot of money on luggage.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I do travel a good bit, but it's usually on business and no one who knows me ever sees my bags. All I care about is how much stuff I can get in it and how easily it rolls.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">My current "go to" piece of luggage was purchased at Walmart about 10 years ago. I like it because it has a pull handle and you can either roll it behind you, or you can roll it beside you...the wheels are "spinner" type wheels so they are multi-directional. There's even a zippered expander for the main compartment.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I can get more stuff in this bag than I can afford for it to weigh. (Anything over 50 lbs will cost you more on most airlines).</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I think I paid $48.95 for it.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Two weeks ago, I flew to Maryland on a business trip, and my luggage served me just fine. Before I left, I had to get the lint roller and de-cat-hair the outside...because the cats LOVE my luggage. I got home from that trip and unpacked and then repacked to go stay with my mother for her knee surgery.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">My mother says that my bag has to go.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">She was hopped up on pain pills when I went down to the car and brought my bag up to the hospital room, and she was brutally honest with me.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG5HhBLAs7kxscEVyg6TbBMm3XsqQP-AVJlvrTPj1i-0BMsAVltAUdHf2ehHAHQbR-s8b5BG_2UP92-wdPGbUNcekFup7vl7LyPG7s7zty4K1kYLTB718zc41WtYQK4vB9YwG2lhjy4kE/s640/blogger-image-1338007212.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG5HhBLAs7kxscEVyg6TbBMm3XsqQP-AVJlvrTPj1i-0BMsAVltAUdHf2ehHAHQbR-s8b5BG_2UP92-wdPGbUNcekFup7vl7LyPG7s7zty4K1kYLTB718zc41WtYQK4vB9YwG2lhjy4kE/s640/blogger-image-1338007212.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Iz good to stand besides and sharpens your clawz</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb569g4CtoIGaQUAx01vj_cZxlSRNNoIN-Q3dCrZJHT6ieP-cgZGWSWiiamXqfz9EQXWpqSecE2UWkqOwOI3wobqeihOjX1Q_thN_ySXZYW3InNSK8EHBKHxCW9PphyEeG7dn4LMP3QOw/s640/blogger-image-965846729.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb569g4CtoIGaQUAx01vj_cZxlSRNNoIN-Q3dCrZJHT6ieP-cgZGWSWiiamXqfz9EQXWpqSecE2UWkqOwOI3wobqeihOjX1Q_thN_ySXZYW3InNSK8EHBKHxCW9PphyEeG7dn4LMP3QOw/s640/blogger-image-965846729.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Iz also good to stand on top of and sharpens your clawz</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGN6keAWxABoc5z5pUjJIXVHOGkTssN0_5NGIrhNYgFKtSOWtwEghzmsHYGXkqy-eaDwcNQ6WJrDncQfXLysgMrDms9h9Uo5rxS9jZdYFt6bjw8Sq0hYjPL6LIkIhnyzKbORd_IigV6Sw/s640/blogger-image--547370252.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGN6keAWxABoc5z5pUjJIXVHOGkTssN0_5NGIrhNYgFKtSOWtwEghzmsHYGXkqy-eaDwcNQ6WJrDncQfXLysgMrDms9h9Uo5rxS9jZdYFt6bjw8Sq0hYjPL6LIkIhnyzKbORd_IigV6Sw/s640/blogger-image--547370252.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On the other hand, you know how there's signs at the airport that tell you to look carefully before you take off with your luggage because lots of bags look alike? I don't have that problem.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnLcWmwTzcK5vRAARHc9UvN_89HeaH26kZcSJLdE7q0UcJ8AHNmx76SNeeIkRmqOFp5vSHkYZu4H29vwQJauPPDFvHb8xhS3H4M9hDJPoSQJGALsXMnGK7VMsB3IvZs9a1hyjVeB8yDqE/s640/blogger-image-1679099806.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnLcWmwTzcK5vRAARHc9UvN_89HeaH26kZcSJLdE7q0UcJ8AHNmx76SNeeIkRmqOFp5vSHkYZu4H29vwQJauPPDFvHb8xhS3H4M9hDJPoSQJGALsXMnGK7VMsB3IvZs9a1hyjVeB8yDqE/s640/blogger-image-1679099806.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Plus, no one is ever going to try to steal it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">She told me that my bag was an embarrassment and made me throw a blanket over it so the nurses wouldn't see.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I really had not taken a good hard look at it in awhile...because it was still functioning just fine.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">But she may have a point.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I think my next luggage purchase will need to be a hard shell.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-14102935491323032022015-09-24T15:26:00.000-07:002015-09-24T15:26:55.731-07:00The long and short of it<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My daughter took my hand, leaned in close and looked me square in the eye.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Mom." she said firmly, carefully enunciating her words. "I think it is AWESOME that you can fit into the shorts that you haven't been able to wear since the 90's. I. Am. So. Proud. Of. You."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Awwww, sweetie, thanks! That means..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Hold on. I'm not finished. I DO think it is awesome. But I'm going to need you to do something for me."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Huh? What?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"When you get home, I need you to take them off and throw them away."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"But why? I don't underst...."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Mother. Listen to me."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Okay."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Those shorts are corduroy. And faded. And well, they are just horrible."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"It's a narrow wale corduroy! I mean it's not like..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Mother, I swear to God, I will light them on fire right now."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Fiiiiine. I won't wear them again."</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibNHA9351x1nSYSHAxpCuLeow9fDyjlhDRWoenRJjD9CXJvPyv9QFs1imROeXhBG_bpYvStm45NLiW7mUgqNS730sctRpV9VnnbZqWhPWTu7QGjMiopKNVRW-trHS1O-0kGb_MZWP-Vww/s640/blogger-image--428132392.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibNHA9351x1nSYSHAxpCuLeow9fDyjlhDRWoenRJjD9CXJvPyv9QFs1imROeXhBG_bpYvStm45NLiW7mUgqNS730sctRpV9VnnbZqWhPWTu7QGjMiopKNVRW-trHS1O-0kGb_MZWP-Vww/s640/blogger-image--428132392.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Are they really that bad?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-37584407214683671452015-09-23T14:30:00.001-07:002015-09-23T14:34:23.009-07:00The eyes have it<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Today...sometime about 8 hours after I put them on, I noticed that I was wearing the wrong pair of glasses. I was wearing my daughter's, and to be fair, we have the same prescription. I don't know how I got them, though, since she doesn't live at home anymore. Oooo...I wonder if I picked them up last weekend when her dad and I crashed at her place after tailgating in Tuscaloosa for 12 straight hours?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Anyway, the reason I FINALLY noticed they were hers is because they were bugging my nose and I realized that they were missing an eye piece.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I decided to go get my dollar-store reading glasses and scavenge the eye piece off of them. So I get my little tool kit out and get the eye piece off of my reading glasses...then I realize I can't see well enough to put the itty bitty screw into the hole of the glasses that I apparently stole from my daughter when I stayed at her house last weekend. Oh yeah! That's why I HAVE reading glasses...I remember now.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD1SD5481ak1WIzTBnurJIbWfLdVBxf2DP1hUHB90lPl0yMnC9bAsIt4JVoBe8FZRW0VmTgtaNlX2FYqlLRl3qHRr7E5Hle2ES7GBThSDAoBadnxtS35s0oFpiDsC5xfNo7skOL2a89TQ/s640/blogger-image--115814537.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD1SD5481ak1WIzTBnurJIbWfLdVBxf2DP1hUHB90lPl0yMnC9bAsIt4JVoBe8FZRW0VmTgtaNlX2FYqlLRl3qHRr7E5Hle2ES7GBThSDAoBadnxtS35s0oFpiDsC5xfNo7skOL2a89TQ/s640/blogger-image--115814537.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So here's where I'm at now...I've lost BOTH of the itty bitty screws and now can't reattach the nose piece to either the regular glasses or my reading glasses.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I can neither see near or far.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">How was your day?</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-35109295282725349542015-09-10T12:02:00.001-07:002015-09-10T12:02:18.067-07:00Requiem for Rosie<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Yesterday, my sweet 15-year old Lab Mix, Rosie died. I had been really concerned about her for quite some time. I mean...15 is OLD for a dog her size. And she was missing a leg.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOG6TjuiZI0av5VIswmsiSI96bqozOB6WRJgpUf_Wf8gtsQMkq4L90cE2hldDsNH-G0AJMubYI9U-LY_S5gTFIEOo1eMtl5h7SJ5P-UUzS1KslDcQjl9ufAfdpkzwbp39FExFO6c2I7lc/s640/blogger-image--1267270003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></span><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Here's a picture of her when she still had all of her appendages.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBwsoWzod4w5ZX3cKDkiZh4aiBAO1vBkSDccWvKz4TVJpFUJIezOlDP3oAQHhbWSK_C9AgKj23zxMc92gT8CBuoLSMWEWcYu691nSmAaJgEnjKiAGpL8BAe_Hofymxt6LCpZj-a-bWk8A/s640/blogger-image-1803845964.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBwsoWzod4w5ZX3cKDkiZh4aiBAO1vBkSDccWvKz4TVJpFUJIezOlDP3oAQHhbWSK_C9AgKj23zxMc92gT8CBuoLSMWEWcYu691nSmAaJgEnjKiAGpL8BAe_Hofymxt6LCpZj-a-bWk8A/s640/blogger-image-1803845964.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She and Mileena had been napping. Rosie had just given her "sugar". Mileena was all, "Ew, dog slobber!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">When Rosie was fairly young, she was hit by a car. She survived the accident but had some significant damage to the nerves in her shoulder. The vet begged me repeatedly to just let him remove the leg. But I HATED the idea of her losing her leg. So we went to great lengths to help her keep it. Every morning and evening, I did rehab exercises with her. And she did get to where she could use it to some extent...sort of like a crutch. But she kept it scraped up...and then she'd obsessively lick it. So I ended up ordering her specially made boots from Ireland:</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihX4kkhT0Ib5s2niraGmLbc8jhXRfXF7dfEWFty328bWefLd62oJnjPhabiwPbVSa1N4eJmjglkvGt8pxSSrkdmg4ol3jrkgIm3RJRS0czoeWVHanXw68L6aBePkiV_bz5dhUEyQX_rKo/s640/blogger-image--1467688982.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihX4kkhT0Ib5s2niraGmLbc8jhXRfXF7dfEWFty328bWefLd62oJnjPhabiwPbVSa1N4eJmjglkvGt8pxSSrkdmg4ol3jrkgIm3RJRS0czoeWVHanXw68L6aBePkiV_bz5dhUEyQX_rKo/s640/blogger-image--1467688982.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I spent more on footwear for my dog back then than I did on myself.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And the vet put her on doggie Prozac for her OCD. (I know!) Eventually, however, she got it pretty seriously infected and we ended up letting the vet remove it.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-size: large;">She never even missed it. She was running around the backyard 2 days after her surgery looking A LOT happier than when she'd been dealing with her leg that didn't work too well.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Jeff even taught her to "air shake"...He'd have her sit, then put out his hand and say "Air shake!" and her little shoulder knob would make the motions like she was doing her shake. She was very proud of herself.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFYNGvUz8JJYUOTdXRLousqJlKDQQGpbUZw12k8stU3lXnxT47_TKs1umwSn79sBIHpRdTaP4asfreMFxeCCALBM_OtToTyVuPqHlgJE6edOXj95E76yDcOtBop-Mr_daKPOcOgRvBmLE/s640/blogger-image--1627555174.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFYNGvUz8JJYUOTdXRLousqJlKDQQGpbUZw12k8stU3lXnxT47_TKs1umwSn79sBIHpRdTaP4asfreMFxeCCALBM_OtToTyVuPqHlgJE6edOXj95E76yDcOtBop-Mr_daKPOcOgRvBmLE/s640/blogger-image--1627555174.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She was a very happy dog. She got along with all of the cats. She was well loved by the other two dogs. She was a very, very good girl.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In honor of her passing...I will share with you (for some of you...I'm sharing again) one of Rosie's finest hours.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I give you the story of: Rosie, Possum-Slayer!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Back in 2007-2008, my husband, Jeff, and I spent about a year taking his parents to Tulsa, Oklahoma from Anniston, Alabama for his dad’s chemo treatments at the Cancer Treatment Center of America. (This was before CTCA built a center in Atlanta). His treatments were 6 weeks apart, and we took turns taking them. Usually we would drive them, but one trip in early January, not being confident on how the weather would behave, and since we’re from Alabama and all we know how to do if it snows is buy milk and bread, we were flying. This trip was an especially bad one. It seemed like everything that could go wrong, did. After three days in the land of chemotherapy we were on our way back THROUGH the Dallas airport with a 4 hour layover. (I have discovered that you cannot get from Birmingham, Alabama to Tulsa, Oklahoma. It is NOT DONE. You have to sneak in from another city, like Dallas or Atlanta or Houston.) Anyway, finally, at 8:00 pm we have landed back in B’ham and are ready to get our bags, get the van and head home…that takes ‘til about 9:00. And of course it is POURING DOWN rain. I am white-knuckling the steering wheel for the first 25 miles, when the rain finally lets up enough for me to call Jeff and tell him that I’m about 35-40 minutes away from home.</span><br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I get the in-laws home, and drive to our house. When I get there, Jeff gets my bags out of the van, hands me a drink that he's already made for me and tells me that I should grab a book and Rosie, the three-legged wonder dog and go sit where I can hear the rain and unwind and relax a bit. It’s about 10:30 by this time and I’m wound tighter than a spring. “Don’t worry about anything, babe, I’ll unpack your bag,” he says. So...I raise the garage door, get a book, my drink, and a camp chair and invite Rosie to join me in the garage as I start trying to loosen up. </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiznp1H6sR7_FZBrpqigTu687Zgsh5rqPcqjwdUlLQCXuELwYX9HrrvQD4pM6bkcgozs6tIw8hO2Pd6YrubWRLwcOfKd6DoAST8i-_KqJOeXNCzHrv879f0N4WqnJPjAGrpo1gVZu4aC3s/s1600/rosie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a> </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGBCGnE8pC1Il3WQGVLd8SPNBCxbX-aHBf_Sq2mMiVQm9O8X5R4-yFOo-du2mDGkxyji75S08u7Sib2V5hOaDU9O28vOdfhMUvtR55BE3e-tZfEaKw6lgNiZ0W67azOpOEz0-5AuYrmGU/s1600/IM001705.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGBCGnE8pC1Il3WQGVLd8SPNBCxbX-aHBf_Sq2mMiVQm9O8X5R4-yFOo-du2mDGkxyji75S08u7Sib2V5hOaDU9O28vOdfhMUvtR55BE3e-tZfEaKw6lgNiZ0W67azOpOEz0-5AuYrmGU/s1600/IM001705.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictured above: Rosie, the wonder dog, giving a terrifying yawn)<span style="font-size: large;"></span> </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;">I’m readin’ and sippin’ and starting to unwind a bit when out of the corner of my eye, I catch something moving. I look up, and there is a POSSUM crossing the driveway. Not a big possum, one about double the size of a squirrel, but STILL!!! Are possums not the most skanky looking animals in the WORLD (or at least in the Southeast) or what? </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcvodX4ndNDZ1bF7747I_AYi7AJK53t5A-LWWJg9hYPQRcXyoJGVCRI4aVzzHohe8bCWiJX700v2BRZGgWQ1AYMPA01Awen29xYTHRs7CcpC5tCilbFx6ns1RmUh7WJk5lhR1-FiS6qIA/s1600/possum-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcvodX4ndNDZ1bF7747I_AYi7AJK53t5A-LWWJg9hYPQRcXyoJGVCRI4aVzzHohe8bCWiJX700v2BRZGgWQ1AYMPA01Awen29xYTHRs7CcpC5tCilbFx6ns1RmUh7WJk5lhR1-FiS6qIA/s1600/possum-2.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Well, Rosie jumps up and runs her three-legged self right out into the driving rain, runs around the car parked in the drive and then comes back WITH THE POSSUM IN HER MOUTH!!! She’s trotting around in the driveway, getting soaking wet, when I holler at her (I want to say right here that I am a college degreed mechanical engineer, but certain circumstances cause me to revert to behavior such as HOLLERIN’) “Rosie, drop that possum RIGHT NOW!” She opens her mouth and THUD! Right in the middle of my driveway she drops the dead possum and comes back up the drive and into the garage. I shoo her in the house, and walk to the bottom of the stairs and holler (I’m still in hollerin’ mode), “Jeff! YOUR DOG has killed something!” I then stalk back out to the garage and sit back down in my chair and look at the possum…it’s still in the drive, it’s fur getting all matted and nasty looking in the rain. Jeff comes out and takes a look…he’s barefoot, because he had gotten up in a hurry to see exactly what was going on. Then he actually looks at me and says, “Ah, I can’t get it, I’m barefoot.” I put THE LOOK on my face and said, “Look, bucko, if you think I am going to deal with a dead, nasty BEAST after the three days I have put in…not to mention the NERVE WRACKING drive I just made, you are so, so mistaken. I’m sure if you look it up, dead animals DEFINITELY falls under the “Man Duty” heading. You may have been lucky enough to marry a woman who can put the gas grill together, but I am NOT taking care of a dead possum.” I believe I had my hand on my hip by this point.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;">So Jeff shuffles barefoot back into the house (I hear him stop to praise Rosie for being such a “good girl, gettin’ that bad ole possum”) and up the stairs to get his shoes. He’s up there awhile…maybe 10 minutes. Then I hear him back in the kitchen looking for rubber gloves (wuss) and getting a trash bag. I’m trying to read my book and sip my drink, but I keep looking up at the carcass in my drive. Jeff’s still banging away in the kitchen after the rubber gloves (you KNOW he really wants me to come in and find them for him) when the possum TWITCHES!! Creepy, unnatural, not healthy-like twitchin’…</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Well, crap!”, I say to myself, “The only thing worse than a DEAD POSSUM in my driveway is a HALF-DEAD POSSUM in my driveway.” I’m thinking that Jeff’s going to have to go to the shed and get the shovel and put the poor (but disgusting) thing out of its misery. This is not going to make anyone’s night…not mine, not Jeff’s, certainly not the possum’s. I stand up to go give him the good news, just as the possum raises its head…it looks around, gets to its feet, gives itself a good shake and then trots on off to the bushes. The tip of its gross, pink rat-tail had just vanished under the boxwoods as Jeff comes out of the kitchen and into the garage. He has donned his rubber gloves and has the possum disposal bag in hand. His jaw is set as he gets ready to do his manly duty…and I have to tell him that the possum was, well, playin’ possum. It had lain there mouth open, eyes glassy, fur matted in the torrential downpour for AT LEAST 15 minutes, and then just trotted off!! We both go back inside, Jeff stripping off the rubber gloves…to be confronted by Rosie...who is in quite a state. She is giving us such a REPROACHFUL look that I can almost hear what she is thinking which must have been something like, “I am a three-legged dog…do you KNOW how often I see any kind of action like that? Not only do you call me OFF my possum, but then you let it get away.” I did the only thing I could do to make amends…I gave her some bacon and promised her I’d tell EVERYONE what a brave, brave dog she was for “gitin’ that possum.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOG6TjuiZI0av5VIswmsiSI96bqozOB6WRJgpUf_Wf8gtsQMkq4L90cE2hldDsNH-G0AJMubYI9U-LY_S5gTFIEOo1eMtl5h7SJ5P-UUzS1KslDcQjl9ufAfdpkzwbp39FExFO6c2I7lc/s640/blogger-image--1267270003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOG6TjuiZI0av5VIswmsiSI96bqozOB6WRJgpUf_Wf8gtsQMkq4L90cE2hldDsNH-G0AJMubYI9U-LY_S5gTFIEOo1eMtl5h7SJ5P-UUzS1KslDcQjl9ufAfdpkzwbp39FExFO6c2I7lc/s640/blogger-image--1267270003.jpg" /></a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">R.I.P., sweet girl. I will miss you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-71053500814741665352015-09-09T13:36:00.004-07:002015-09-09T13:45:24.049-07:00Marianne & Mileena's Magical Meanderings<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I moved my daughter back to Tuscaloosa a few weeks ago. She is starting her second year at the University of Alabama. She had to go back early so she could attend Recruitment workshops with her sorority prior to Rush week.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I was never in a sorority...primarily because I was footing the bill for college and living expenses myself and preferred to purchase groceries instead of chapter dues. So I really do not have a clue about how important some activities are versus others.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Sororities at Alabama take recruitment workshops very seriously.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">We had left with plenty of time (we thought) to get to Mileena's new place, unload, and let her take off to attend the workshop while I helped get her things unpacked. After the workshop, she'd come back and we'd wrap things up.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">However, the best laid plans of mice and men (and gamma phis and their mommas, apparently) often go awry.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">20 miles from the exit to Tuscaloosa, a transfer truck somehow broke in half. Here's the front half:</span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg417oXm63y40ff8cpPrJrgB5H1Rj-EfxrS83JJ5I02Oyz_L-7rVZP3xtVQQI-1FhDsBVfQKFJRoBDrPjhkuw72pORnwWZ45AVZOTyN8Ycp0imeAo87EhD6BT_xgOvcEoVVKPb-A8U1p0k/s640/blogger-image--2147448447.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg417oXm63y40ff8cpPrJrgB5H1Rj-EfxrS83JJ5I02Oyz_L-7rVZP3xtVQQI-1FhDsBVfQKFJRoBDrPjhkuw72pORnwWZ45AVZOTyN8Ycp0imeAo87EhD6BT_xgOvcEoVVKPb-A8U1p0k/s640/blogger-image--2147448447.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The other half was strewn down I-20 for the next three miles. The truck driver appeared to be fine...he was standing on the side of the road with the state troopers. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what happened. The cab of the truck and the first half of the trailer were on their sides in the ditch, while bits and pieces of the other have had been obliterated and scattered on the road. Regardless, we were stuck in traffic for at least 30 minutes.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Then we got off of the interstate, travelled down McFarland Blvd (McFarland Blvd is always, always rotten with traffic) and turned onto University...to find that they had removed the bridge. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrIu-BvPy0wnEUjkcp2B0j9Fwf_q4Up4cL-hNxNW-tMuDE0lgzZOGBIcgfx2VhpYZXBBUuE49r_qd5UKNmDH6jH5RG4VhigvFPMZOu7Fz86_Cv5Gz3wofnz08VvSH4LBZYyFlk5BqmwzM/s640/blogger-image-1395060522.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrIu-BvPy0wnEUjkcp2B0j9Fwf_q4Up4cL-hNxNW-tMuDE0lgzZOGBIcgfx2VhpYZXBBUuE49r_qd5UKNmDH6jH5RG4VhigvFPMZOu7Fz86_Cv5Gz3wofnz08VvSH4LBZYyFlk5BqmwzM/s640/blogger-image-1395060522.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We found a place to pull over (Mileena had a load in her SUV, I had the rest in the van). She rolled down her window and yelled, "It was just there two days ago! I swear to God!"</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">So we tried to use our iphones to find a different route, but Siri INSISTED that the bridge was still there and didn't want us to go any other way. We finally just meandered around until we found a way across the Black Warrior River and then used the Map directions to bring us in.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">We got to the front office at Mileena's new community to pay her early check-in fee and get the keys to her new place. There were approximately 7800 other people moving in on the same day (which wasn't even "move in day"...we were a week early).</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Finally at the front of the check-in desk, I gave the girl handing out new resident packettes my debit card.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Sorry, ma'am, we don't take cards."</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"This is the card I used online to pay the rent."<br />"Sorry, ma'am, we can't use a card to pay the early move-in fee."</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Can I go online and pay it?"<br />"No, ma'am. Not for the early fee. You have to pay it here and we don't take cards. Do you have a check?"</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Well, as luck would have it, I had run out of checks several days prior. I had placed an order for new checks, but did not have any with me. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Mileena's checkbook was God-knows where in the eleventy-five boxes we had in our two vehicles. So we sat on the curb and combined our liquid assets. With what we had in our purses...plus Jeff's "secret stash" he keeps in the van for drive-thru, we had $101 in cash (plus whatever coins we had in the van ashtray.)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">We got in line again with the other 55 eighteen to twenty-two year olds...</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"I'm so sorry! We don't take cash."</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"You don't take CASH? How can you not take cash?"</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"I know, right? But look, if you go out to the road and take a right, you can go to the Piggly Wiggly and get a money order."</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">(Yes. The Piggly Wiggly. It's a thing here in the South.)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"You will take a money order but not cash?"</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"I'm afraid so. Or a cashier's check. Sorry, ma'am"</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">(And however much I appreciate the good raisin' of this young lady...all of the Ma'am-ing combined with the fact that every other individual on the place was LESS than half my age was starting to make me feel ancient.)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">So we get into the van and take a right...and end up back at the place where the bridge used to be, but now we're on the other side...and we can SEE the Piggly Wiggly from there. But the Black Warrior River is once again in our way.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">So we ask Siri for directions to the Piggly Wiggly. She starts routing us around until:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3D3tjL7y8UMkA5vSOQwH2NXdy55lg2RV41dZXNNyfMcIhNLMvnJ1igAOGyO6MXri-g2CSJo7RzjRtM4xI5CpNVPcVDwxBWRrz4EMdvFgV2ckSBOPDM40JJEnaOlZ3ixNq3AqHLgyAtl4/s640/blogger-image--1050737147.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3D3tjL7y8UMkA5vSOQwH2NXdy55lg2RV41dZXNNyfMcIhNLMvnJ1igAOGyO6MXri-g2CSJo7RzjRtM4xI5CpNVPcVDwxBWRrz4EMdvFgV2ckSBOPDM40JJEnaOlZ3ixNq3AqHLgyAtl4/s640/blogger-image--1050737147.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mileena at this point sends the following message out to several of her sorority sisters:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><em>I AM SO SORRY that I'm late. We got to my neighborhood and they informed me that they do not take cards or cash for your move-in fee. They sent us to the nearest place to get a money order because they only take money orders or checks (the only two forms of money that NO ONE WANTS). Upon trying to find somewhere, we encountered a completely blocked off road. Will someone please tell the workshop lead that I am literally trying my hardest to get there but that I have apparently pissed off karma and now the world is running against me...If you don't hear from me soon, know that Siri killed me and my mom on our adventure. She has already tried to send us to Hogwarts via 9 1/2 Street East.</em></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<em><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I went into the Piggly Wiggly and asked if I could get a money order. I was told that I'd have to wait 7 minutes until the "office" opened. Okay, fine...so I waited by the office window. After 7 minutes, one of the two ladies who I'd asked about the money order walked over and unlocked the office, went around to the window and asked, "Can I help you?" </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Yes" (through gritted teeth) "I need a $100 money order."</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Okay! That'll be $102.50!"</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Are. You. Kidding. Me?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I had brought the $101 in with me. I was a buck fifty short.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Do you have an ATM?"</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"No, ma'am. But if you purchase something, you can get up to $40 cash back."</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I went around the "office", snatched the first thing I laid my hand on (a bag of Haribo gummy bears) and got in line at the only open register behind someone with a full buggy load (because of course it was) of groceries.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I FINALLY got the money order...we circumnavigated the globe once again to get to the other side of the river and got Mileena checked in.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">We hurriedly slung everything out of her vehicle so that she could make it to at least PART of the workshop and not earn a fine. I was left to get the rest of the crap in and try to make some sense where things should go. Six hours later (and several trips to Target for things I hadn't realized she'd need...house living is different from dorm living) I was sweaty, dirty and hungry (those gummy bears were just not appealing to me). But I had my daughter more or less established in her new abode, she was still in good graces with her sorority, and I could drag my tired self home in my now-empty van.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I got home and showered and opened myself up a bottle of wine and thought about how...even with all of the mishaps, I had had fun on my adventure with my now (mostly) adult daughter. And I know that this is one of those tales we will share with others for years to come.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">But I would have liked to have met Dumbledore.</span></div>
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-53167298692472790802015-09-02T13:35:00.003-07:002015-09-02T13:35:55.199-07:00Hair's lookin' at you<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">First, I apologize for the incredibly lame pun. But when I started this post and named it..."Hair's lookin' at you" popped into my head and then I couldn't think of anything better.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Splitting hairs?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"Hair-larious?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">"My hairy situation?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Anyway...this post is about my hair.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I don't want to brag, but I have always had great hair. Old, young, thin, overweight, whatever...I have had great hair. It has been the one thing about myself I have never wanted to change. My hair has always been thick and grown fast. I have twice grown it out and donated whole 10" long ponytails to Locks of Love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Even when I have been at my heaviest, my hair still looked good. I have actually found myself looking at pictures of me over the last few years and thinking, "Hmmm...who's the fat chick with the awesome hair?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Some examples:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXO7nNwvaOJnPxmq-XxEgMQ3W65e41Wikokt8Hm30ETzmlIP2iEYNb15fR95OQLaI9wrcAiI1gXuIe5Itch7XXlXXcdrPcpefOTK2xLiqg777IfbU8MfhXkmkJ41sXkshUuIMCUNapQdo/s640/blogger-image-609153643.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_4OkwJKuzSc6QZ8X_nkdg68itosxNkJGc3k-CitWFlswXMOjuhc3mz994gXWhownvooW68VjiFTrQqFa5OHO44fqqb9I3o1ysMxInmESiudoWwntYiMLY9ObB4nfz9MMGcgMP3mEGcJc/s640/blogger-image--1067965869.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_4OkwJKuzSc6QZ8X_nkdg68itosxNkJGc3k-CitWFlswXMOjuhc3mz994gXWhownvooW68VjiFTrQqFa5OHO44fqqb9I3o1ysMxInmESiudoWwntYiMLY9ObB4nfz9MMGcgMP3mEGcJc/s640/blogger-image--1067965869.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0IC3e4bzIUKWLLwqOtXrs0rhOLXJWnc655w4PofQBZj9-0Uge-VwJoSldOgNoqupcgUE0Bd3e8z_HwvylVy0zVI6_Ce5BUVje7kLQPc0ueqSHFW2epKMlsXOKWMMb-ZA3_hIEKUCUIKg/s640/blogger-image--1667217141.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0IC3e4bzIUKWLLwqOtXrs0rhOLXJWnc655w4PofQBZj9-0Uge-VwJoSldOgNoqupcgUE0Bd3e8z_HwvylVy0zVI6_Ce5BUVje7kLQPc0ueqSHFW2epKMlsXOKWMMb-ZA3_hIEKUCUIKg/s640/blogger-image--1667217141.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcdgkQvbZAEpwFvK0qIdpn7cGuTW1XUF7zhNMn1LrD75Q1BLLqSioiBD-rWAxSBCFSH-a0P_cq5dRhIqC_13F5xvM_rGCEpWM1Nftq3f6OupztVQfYrb8LUE-HfgpM1nXvRss90_0eeV4/s640/blogger-image--184425704.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcdgkQvbZAEpwFvK0qIdpn7cGuTW1XUF7zhNMn1LrD75Q1BLLqSioiBD-rWAxSBCFSH-a0P_cq5dRhIqC_13F5xvM_rGCEpWM1Nftq3f6OupztVQfYrb8LUE-HfgpM1nXvRss90_0eeV4/s640/blogger-image--184425704.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAzAsIKOqwGv3me0Gh4y8rsuX8o5dq8OOk0_ubK4n8-OwCn2OCYiDBVpx-8i_NnYnOqN8KC5gkEuQd5RW7ZdfHVnoPR9RcgQhVrgaEuVRVn35bnpoKKZaj-xj_lm4Hvj_C2zDDhqLE5fE/s640/blogger-image--2115890306.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAzAsIKOqwGv3me0Gh4y8rsuX8o5dq8OOk0_ubK4n8-OwCn2OCYiDBVpx-8i_NnYnOqN8KC5gkEuQd5RW7ZdfHVnoPR9RcgQhVrgaEuVRVn35bnpoKKZaj-xj_lm4Hvj_C2zDDhqLE5fE/s640/blogger-image--2115890306.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Well, as I have recently posted (</span><a href="http://psb1969.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-skinny-about-my-fat.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">here)</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">, I have had the vertical gastric sleeve. And it has been great.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I'm now down to my lowest weight in almost two decades. And I LOVE IT!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Some milestones:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Last year, when I said I was DETERMINED to lose weight through diet and exercise...my daughter made me a little gift to encourage me:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXO7nNwvaOJnPxmq-XxEgMQ3W65e41Wikokt8Hm30ETzmlIP2iEYNb15fR95OQLaI9wrcAiI1gXuIe5Itch7XXlXXcdrPcpefOTK2xLiqg777IfbU8MfhXkmkJ41sXkshUuIMCUNapQdo/s640/blogger-image-609153643.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXO7nNwvaOJnPxmq-XxEgMQ3W65e41Wikokt8Hm30ETzmlIP2iEYNb15fR95OQLaI9wrcAiI1gXuIe5Itch7XXlXXcdrPcpefOTK2xLiqg777IfbU8MfhXkmkJ41sXkshUuIMCUNapQdo/s640/blogger-image-609153643.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">She got these two glass vases, decorated them and filled the one on the left with one hundred flat little stone thingies...each stone represented a pound. She made them all pretty and even made it so the one on the right has lines for every ten stones and we could "celebrate" every time I clicked off another 10 pounds. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">It was supposed to make it like a fun game.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I hated that game.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Those stones went back and forth too many times to count.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Well...since I started this journey "for real," the "game" got a lot more fun. This past weekend, the vases were even. I almost cried.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">50 pounds down, 50 to go. (actually, this morning it was 51 down and 49 to go)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Another milestone? I got to shop in the "normal" section for clothes the other day. I even had to put an XL shirt back and get an L. When that happened, I actually did cry.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Everything is FANTASTIC!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Except.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">My hair is thinning. Like, seriously, Jeff has had to put two whole containers of Drano down the shower drain in the past week. My hair brush looks like a small animal when I brush my hair in the mornings. I have a lint roller in every room in the house. I'm shedding more than my Golden Retriever.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I know in the big scheme of things, this should not be such a big deal. I was told to be prepared for it...that it's the body's natural response to rapid weight loss (and hey, I'm all about the rapid). And the "thinning" (that's what the doctor calls it...I call it "the falling out") will eventually stop and then my hair growth will go back to normal and Hey! one day I will be thin and it will all be worth it.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">But it's <em><strong>MY HAIR</strong></em>. My faithful, faithful hair.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Thank the Good Lord I have a talented and wonderful beautician (shout out to Jennifer Neyman...John Christopher Salon, 1720 Hamric Drive Oxford). I went in and we decided what to do to make the volume loss less noticeable.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">She's practically a wizard.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">So...I'm at my lowest weight in nearly two decades and my hair is at its shortest in nearly the same length of time.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6zVFscXDjdKSs7jrD9ovi-19nsuzBPxB2gNlsuQHIBzSD57YP4Y-b8Fn0Q7O8FZQLV6qz93gR2XlwjAsueAanTH_SSuFjDneg_1E42lGYF-X77b_fKtowLMMEQMWVhbuS3QxBGjOP8kM/s640/blogger-image-471309109.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6zVFscXDjdKSs7jrD9ovi-19nsuzBPxB2gNlsuQHIBzSD57YP4Y-b8Fn0Q7O8FZQLV6qz93gR2XlwjAsueAanTH_SSuFjDneg_1E42lGYF-X77b_fKtowLMMEQMWVhbuS3QxBGjOP8kM/s640/blogger-image-471309109.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But...I think I can live with it. Of course, I don't have much choice at this point...</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Hopefully I won't have to take up wearing hats!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXO7nNwvaOJnPxmq-XxEgMQ3W65e41Wikokt8Hm30ETzmlIP2iEYNb15fR95OQLaI9wrcAiI1gXuIe5Itch7XXlXXcdrPcpefOTK2xLiqg777IfbU8MfhXkmkJ41sXkshUuIMCUNapQdo/s640/blogger-image-609153643.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-65083675808571202802015-08-20T12:56:00.000-07:002015-08-20T12:56:02.113-07:00Butterfingers<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think I may be on the trail of discovering a new species of hawk in Alabama.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I have often seen <em>Buteo Jaicenis</em> (Red-tailed hawks):</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaQ04bEPZgoDM7FQrhhQcCc5J-Xj5b0NPzEsfrSxY8AEdO0sXZzDokLraKFgswD09H4kzB1UQGZo2Wd7HfFDv3rq4krsFqpQ2qzwvECojnmErzVAlADeoTqbej3qZEIhpBiGliWDMLzU4/s640/blogger-image--681596744.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaQ04bEPZgoDM7FQrhhQcCc5J-Xj5b0NPzEsfrSxY8AEdO0sXZzDokLraKFgswD09H4kzB1UQGZo2Wd7HfFDv3rq4krsFqpQ2qzwvECojnmErzVAlADeoTqbej3qZEIhpBiGliWDMLzU4/s640/blogger-image--681596744.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo from the Alabama Coorperative Extension System</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Or <em>Buteo lineatus</em> (Red-shouldered hawks):</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd7_sUSp7Lsp4v1JKYk6NrbSRWkiMlMzniyIkPhjerxAxzvXcCTdhRBh_NN-lXLdE4bAG6gMDnOrEuZc-Wr7IEEVbcSzuGHw7I0jynafLJtlimM-piTGwJ-3ah0l86yLM6RyWzUE448nM/s640/blogger-image--1804928199.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd7_sUSp7Lsp4v1JKYk6NrbSRWkiMlMzniyIkPhjerxAxzvXcCTdhRBh_NN-lXLdE4bAG6gMDnOrEuZc-Wr7IEEVbcSzuGHw7I0jynafLJtlimM-piTGwJ-3ah0l86yLM6RyWzUE448nM/s640/blogger-image--1804928199.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This photo also from www.aces.edu</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Both of these species of hawk are well known for their eyesight, their piercing scream and their hunting prowess.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">That's why I believe that the hawk that lives in my neighborhood is perhaps a new species, unrelated to these fierce, efficient hunters.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">This new hawk will be named <em>Buteo Bytrum-digitus</em>, or the Butter-fingered hawk. I suspect that this hawk is pretty rare...possibly on the verge of extinction before it is ever properly discovered and its existence documented. My suspicions are based on the fact that this hawk seems lose at least half of its meal every time it hunts. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Also, it appears that this majestic bird of prey is indigenous to my back yard. The first sighting of the Butter-fingered Hawk happened while the whole family was outside on our (very weathered) deck. Jeff and I were standing on the deck. The kiddo was throwing a ball to the dogs. Then we heard this shriek! All movement stopped and we saw something small come plummeting toward us. The three of us all sorta ducked for cover....then we heard a small, kind of wet-sounding thud:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaoBxbamq1Vdwzuu_XdEIkdZCg-EA6hbAkqLWCj_0D_QH3dqnOEO5WcxdrZA-9MGs25-bjf8AfnJZt2IzMQ2s1a21hQXfJ_QcRnTm4bkNUenM2z7T9J9zZQqM0MU2RPTSaOy_ESzPQUMM/s640/blogger-image--1574816394.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaoBxbamq1Vdwzuu_XdEIkdZCg-EA6hbAkqLWCj_0D_QH3dqnOEO5WcxdrZA-9MGs25-bjf8AfnJZt2IzMQ2s1a21hQXfJ_QcRnTm4bkNUenM2z7T9J9zZQqM0MU2RPTSaOy_ESzPQUMM/s640/blogger-image--1574816394.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This photo courtesy of Jeff's cell phone.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Well, there's something you don't nearly get hit in the head with every day...a chipmunk butt. Like, LITERALLY a chipmunk butt. Jeff shot a quick pic and then had to wrestle the chipmunk half away from the dogs. They assumed that it had started raining manna from Heaven.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">A few weeks later, I went to the edge of the yard to check the blueberry bushes we have there and caught the odor of something foul. I didn't actually SEE the Butter-fingered Hawk this time...but this certainly seemed to fit his M.O:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbui5OzuoUbEUKgRXu9L7rdCegsMMm42ipAwLxwXBYGYGT8V2qpOTSUWDkCCBtF0_s8x_i2PSTKd2X3K5LPEtrEgt45zbCLvDFtI08CsjgZTbRJ0oURFxZ2SYx2zhux9Mr9Bisf1Sr0pk/s640/blogger-image--1330883424.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbui5OzuoUbEUKgRXu9L7rdCegsMMm42ipAwLxwXBYGYGT8V2qpOTSUWDkCCBtF0_s8x_i2PSTKd2X3K5LPEtrEgt45zbCLvDFtI08CsjgZTbRJ0oURFxZ2SYx2zhux9Mr9Bisf1Sr0pk/s640/blogger-image--1330883424.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, my photo is blurry but that's because I was trying not to toss my cookies at the overpowering stench of the rotting chipmunk carcass. The dogs wanted me to give it to them SOOOOO BAD. (Not happening, you fie-hounds. I don't care how DELICIOUS it seemed, or how much fun you would have had rolling all over this gooey carcass until you smelled like Hell on a Rampage, no dead chipmunk for you!)</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">So...be on the lookout for sightings of this rare and wonderful (if you are a dog) bird. Also...be ready to duck, because...ew.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-31348366192592331222015-08-17T11:11:00.000-07:002015-08-17T19:00:01.891-07:00The skinny about (my) fat<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Once upon a time, through no fault (or merit) of my own, I was a thin person.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Actually, at the age of oh...22 or so I had a ROCKIN' HOT body.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja2Mppr_hk5szz98k3wMwd4EgGded7axNz2a8tbvwK9LdMy1X4kq2UbT_D-zTg05SJ7s4nsQ1NhcK2hzkTH0wJltLQ4NuLqeCTNDUU1wE-CwHWfllTBsXWeCTkRhyphenhyphenchiXh55nHWkG1MFY/s640/blogger-image--888612064.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja2Mppr_hk5szz98k3wMwd4EgGded7axNz2a8tbvwK9LdMy1X4kq2UbT_D-zTg05SJ7s4nsQ1NhcK2hzkTH0wJltLQ4NuLqeCTNDUU1wE-CwHWfllTBsXWeCTkRhyphenhyphenchiXh55nHWkG1MFY/s640/blogger-image--888612064.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXy8W6XfgFHcIskmQi-7fLngunn_Iu1ZnbriY0DO3_kNWgXmiyFn58sVepazIi8QmIwg9nE9xFrXIOftYZBYcbNGewrhOaWpWxUZ2xBzNocYBk2VnIcsVC94UkLaNkYYGESwsDkCv4PBA/s640/blogger-image--1088064264.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXy8W6XfgFHcIskmQi-7fLngunn_Iu1ZnbriY0DO3_kNWgXmiyFn58sVepazIi8QmIwg9nE9xFrXIOftYZBYcbNGewrhOaWpWxUZ2xBzNocYBk2VnIcsVC94UkLaNkYYGESwsDkCv4PBA/s640/blogger-image--1088064264.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Acid washed jeans and ankle boots aside, I love this picture. Did I have an adult beverage in my right hand throughout the entire decade of the 90s? Photographic evidence points to "yes."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then I got fat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I wish I had a good reason to put here for why I got fat. For awhile...about 15 years ago, I went to Weight Watchers meetings and heard all kinds of reasons for getting fat. From physical...like thyroid problems and low metabolism...to psychological...like "eating your feelings" and stress eating, etc. Here's the truth behind my weight gain:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">1. I like to eat food that tastes good. Sadly, good-tasting food is usually high in fat and/or calories. <em>That's why it TASTES good.</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">2. Unless I can pretty much count on an orgasm at the end of it...I do not like activities that make me sweat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">That is it. Period. I was not suffering from self-esteem issues. I was not compensating because I was never my mother's favorite. I did not equate food with love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I was simply taking in more calories than I was expending. And I did it for 24+ years.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJiitU06bDQx-Ao58s0T1zyJ_6S0TgLtidZmaQdHeF8y5NkeEVWUhw05jfOeyeJOW62UMWogypLSgywldlDCg4xZigY_PJNEGHD7nEbH2AsCMdz9-w-UczVkFyoGroXPNKObN6FPZ1eUo/s640/blogger-image--407561257.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJiitU06bDQx-Ao58s0T1zyJ_6S0TgLtidZmaQdHeF8y5NkeEVWUhw05jfOeyeJOW62UMWogypLSgywldlDCg4xZigY_PJNEGHD7nEbH2AsCMdz9-w-UczVkFyoGroXPNKObN6FPZ1eUo/s640/blogger-image--407561257.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Now, I would like to point out that at no point was I hating my life. In the picture above? The project that I had been working on for the past 10 years of my life was being inducted into the Alabama Engineering Hall of Fame. I was part of that because I am a damn good engineer.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I have a husband that I love. We have a beautiful daughter. We live in a nice house. I love my job and my friends and my family and my pets. And even at my heaviest, when I was tipping the scales at over 250 pounds (how much over...that's between me and my doctor) I didn't hate the way I looked. I knew that I was overweight...but I never considered myself in the gag-a-goat ugly category because of it.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Did I wish I weighed less? Yes.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Did I wish it enough to not eat whatever whenever I wanted it?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Did I wish it enough to go to the gym and sweat consistently?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Negative Ghost Rider...the pattern is full.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">So I kept right on going...until I went too far.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">That extra poundage was taking a toll on my health.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I had sleep apnea, high blood pressure and gastroesophageal reflux disease of Biblical proportions.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">That last one led me to Dr. Black. I HAD to have a Nissen procedure. And he recommended I have a gastric sleeve procedure as well. Because I was fat. Too fat. Life-shortening fat. Dr. Black is a fantastic doctor...but he's not gonna pull any punches and pat your head and tell you it's okay because you still have a pretty face.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">But then again, I still had my two basic problems...love of good food and hate of non-orgasmic physical activities. Wasn't I just gonna end up where I started?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Well...happily, when they go in and cut out a large portion of your stomach...they cut out the section that produces the hormones that tell you that you are hungry. Also...and the "why" of this was never really explained to me...your tastes change. I still want what I want...but what I want is now different. Fried and dough-y foods make me cringe now. I used to LOVE bread...now? Meh. Fruits and veggies taste better now. No lie.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">As far as exercise...for the first six weeks, the injunction was: "Walk or you'll get a blood clot that will kill you." Soooo...that was motivation. I do hate to sweat...but I hate to die even worse.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">A friend of mine had this on his Facebook feed:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjfgbOSOkwgvq1r0SNffFyGjt8F8G4eQGvSr4TLqBBSGTulkmyiy3bB7hyphenhyphen0aEOg6TLGbv9Ti_QauHHA6L7M07kaL5AVT6P4RopW4gWNf7pAzaBRgUgahHxU6OkE-5RwU-LETAVeJGHtVU/s640/blogger-image-1222255769.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjfgbOSOkwgvq1r0SNffFyGjt8F8G4eQGvSr4TLqBBSGTulkmyiy3bB7hyphenhyphen0aEOg6TLGbv9Ti_QauHHA6L7M07kaL5AVT6P4RopW4gWNf7pAzaBRgUgahHxU6OkE-5RwU-LETAVeJGHtVU/s640/blogger-image-1222255769.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">After the 6 weeks? "Exercise or you will have great big rolls of extra skin that you will have to have a painful surgery to get rid of." Anyone who knows me knows that I am a wienie. A big ole chicken wienie. I don't like pain or stitches or drain tubes or any of that. 20 minutes a day on a treadmill for pain avoidance? Done. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">And so far? I am headed in the right direction:</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMI0rOUi-OzTCyvfbjw8W-Kqi-hevY7iKph4IcFjXEV-9XTNZfEn60-YPa4q6m2Wqs-qdX6DQNduXJC8QQ7OnNu8B6guDfysCfMPK4XjHN7EJJCYVzCm8oXQrIX3FH6MGYhsNhf6zuULo/s640/blogger-image-1621177540.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMI0rOUi-OzTCyvfbjw8W-Kqi-hevY7iKph4IcFjXEV-9XTNZfEn60-YPa4q6m2Wqs-qdX6DQNduXJC8QQ7OnNu8B6guDfysCfMPK4XjHN7EJJCYVzCm8oXQrIX3FH6MGYhsNhf6zuULo/s640/blogger-image-1621177540.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture on the left is of my daughter's BFF (and my practically adopted second daughter)...it was taken just days before the surgery. The one on the right was taken 2 months post op.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have to tell you... I feel great. My sleep is SO much better. The apnea thing is long gone and I haven't had heartburn at all. My energy levels are fantastic (partly from not lugging around the 48 pounds that I've lost so far...partly from getting a decent night's sleep).</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">And I can't lie...I'm pretty excited about the fact that I am ALMOST at the point where I can shop in the regular section and not in the "Plus" section (usually the three racks over by the bathroom/customer service area).</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">It's a bit embarrassing to just throw it out there that I let myself get so far out of hand. It's embarrassing to admit that I couldn't get myself back IN hand without help. But there it is. I got too fat and I needed help to get un-fat.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">This is really one of the nicest things I've ever done for myself. Wish me luck on the rest of the journey...</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-71199365112056794302015-08-13T13:11:00.000-07:002015-08-14T08:21:56.108-07:00Septuagenarian Sex Scandal: Southern Style<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">During this political season, I'd like to remind everyone that NO ONE does a political sex scandal like we do them in the south.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Last week, we had a prime example.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I. AM. NOT. MAKING. ANY. OF. THIS. UP.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Meet Benny:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjS_VCL3vdBH3GtUaX2HtBtckBU2rlX_1N6UONjpX-_DSXhCyyxM6uk1-tUc7S8WEN-t3Gmwn9q7uQwNGw-CuN0G7sCSqOk1MEWEyqbaTtr1OsfzoViTHxe6nCJH8HImS-r1tSgGbfC2Y/s640/blogger-image--1415864647.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjS_VCL3vdBH3GtUaX2HtBtckBU2rlX_1N6UONjpX-_DSXhCyyxM6uk1-tUc7S8WEN-t3Gmwn9q7uQwNGw-CuN0G7sCSqOk1MEWEyqbaTtr1OsfzoViTHxe6nCJH8HImS-r1tSgGbfC2Y/s640/blogger-image--1415864647.jpg"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is it just me, or does Benny look like Alfred after a long night out partying with Master Bruce?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Benny is 71. He was co-host of a local public access political program called "In the Interest of the People."</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">This is Larry and Charlotte:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<br>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcagfl_TLvLP_89PD78cWhH7QHvqzvqipe-SBCmT2wJxrrZKMEReEiH7c09CF9w3E1JnACPRtDJKtfBkQddCvu2Vgr28wjQIt_mOK5G3kRHZVS9SL8scDLVDxKSxylskgsyH7hV0lf6o4/s640/blogger-image--439283924.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDaVvtzfMVw6fGUvQRsEKSkmj9cBMGUfxy48Bd-OEePUWKeV7WQqLlGhlxAnZZnlrQbZ-lV0h9E7l-XIoDNKR3Ygw4ZWN8QFGbDmIQu5ddXI3WBeZJaZ0ByPfql2Mjl8nW4nI89FXV0i0/s640/blogger-image--1257220485.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDaVvtzfMVw6fGUvQRsEKSkmj9cBMGUfxy48Bd-OEePUWKeV7WQqLlGhlxAnZZnlrQbZ-lV0h9E7l-XIoDNKR3Ygw4ZWN8QFGbDmIQu5ddXI3WBeZJaZ0ByPfql2Mjl8nW4nI89FXV0i0/s640/blogger-image--1257220485.jpg"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Larry is Benny's best friend. Additionally, he is the mayor. He is 74 years old. To Larry's left is Charlotte...she's Benny's wife. She would co-host in Benny's place sometimes when Benny was too busy for "In the Interest of the People." She is also a local business owner.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Apparently, Benny was a little worried about his dear wife working all of the late hours that she was working at the little ole shop she owned...a liquor store. Also, I'm sure he was also concerned that something would happen to his good friend Mayor Larry, who often did the books for Charlotte. So he installed a camera.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I guess in the little town of Talladega, AL, "doing the books" is code for what Shakespeare called, "Making the beast with two backs." (Shakespeare really said that...look it up.) Someone who has seen the video told the local newspaper that the activities recorded were "full blown" (hahah, full blown...snort) and "gives me hope for when I'm 70."</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">In a surprise to no one, Benny and Charlotte filed for divorce. Benny also decided to quit co-hosting "In the Interest of the People."</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Evidently, withdrawing his talent and wit from "In the Interest of the People" was not enough vengeance for Beny. So last Saturday, Benny road a bicycle over 13 miles in August in Alabama where it is approximately 112 degrees in the shade to lie in wait for Larry outside of the place where Larry cuts hair as a part-time job when he isn't busy mayoring. (Still not making it up). When Larry arrived to begin his day of hair cutting and styling, Benny jumped him and commenced to whaling on Larry with an object that resembled a sawed-off baseball bat. (That's what the paper said. I'm going to assume it WAS, in fact, a sawed-off baseball bat because I can't imagine what else resembles one.)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Benny had disguised himself by wearing some sort of garment with a hood (did I mention the part where it is hotter than the hinges of Hell here in Alabama?) But in the middle of getting whomped-up-on, Larry pulled the hood off and realized that his assailant was his cuckolded former friend, Benny. To quote the good mayor, "I was able to stand up and kneed him in the balls. Then I kicked him there twice." At this point, Benny got himself up off the ground and tried to make a get-away on his (God help us all) bicycle, but was detained by bystanders. (Please remember with all of the bats and balls and bikes, that these guys are not 12, they are in their 70s)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Sometime during this whole fracas, someone called the popo, who showed up in time to cart Benny away where he was arrested and placed under a $150,000 bond.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Mayor Larry was taken to a nearby hospital where he gave his account of events to the police and then later the media...his wife, Mary, was loyally by his side.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Mary, honey, here's some advice. There's not a judge in the world who won't award you EVERYTHING at this point.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I have no idea what Benny is looking like following all of this, but here's a picture of Mayor Larry (wearing his best Fruit of the Loom T-shirt):</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYxBGtfHfxEDphqg10r00laMdQgyIMRUPH2gZBlYtP7SfQKEQ5oXmKi-niT59KOzGlRWCoVia0P2fXniS-_pXXBNbYJ-THSzbPHQoZm5LjiWIAs0AS1MVay-sYkOADP5DlLwJNOcWiWZA/s640/blogger-image--80020847.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYxBGtfHfxEDphqg10r00laMdQgyIMRUPH2gZBlYtP7SfQKEQ5oXmKi-niT59KOzGlRWCoVia0P2fXniS-_pXXBNbYJ-THSzbPHQoZm5LjiWIAs0AS1MVay-sYkOADP5DlLwJNOcWiWZA/s640/blogger-image--80020847.jpg"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">New Panda, China No. 1 Buffet, and Panda Express are all vying for Mayor Larry to become their new spokesman. (Wait for it....)(Hat tip to my friend, Bobby.)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="4">Update: Bobby sent me this...I had to share:</font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="4"><br></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="4"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdC2M9Pi_oR40zyg-Gp7paQJSx_iu3j3Yrt-4tF7m35SRXmiV5k2XbWiCJclLm6mUS1Q1hL1wbtmkyUv3K4K2yfyiqHgyZ3p_ByhVlu6J0XomUMnTX4LmCWfRoEEM-vzNP6dEo7YxtCN0/s640/blogger-image-1123327461.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdC2M9Pi_oR40zyg-Gp7paQJSx_iu3j3Yrt-4tF7m35SRXmiV5k2XbWiCJclLm6mUS1Q1hL1wbtmkyUv3K4K2yfyiqHgyZ3p_ByhVlu6J0XomUMnTX4LmCWfRoEEM-vzNP6dEo7YxtCN0/s640/blogger-image-1123327461.jpg"></a></div><br></font></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<br>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-49405750905513431702015-07-27T13:56:00.002-07:002015-07-27T13:56:42.704-07:00Mercy<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jeff has an Ugly Brown Chair. It <em>IS</em> kinda cool. It <em>IS</em> very comfortable. It is a great place for man and beast alike to nap. (Caution: after the 6th month, pregnant women should not attempt to nap in the Ugly Brown Chair. It will take a chainfall to extract them.) (Yes, I speak from experience.)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">However, none of that changes its appearance.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">The Ugly Brown Chair has many, many holes in its upholstery. (Was faux fur furniture covering in the 70's called upholstery?) To prevent the spread of jiblets of Ugly Brown Chair stuffing throughout the entire house, the Ugly Brown Chair usually has a (fur-covered) ESPN stadium blanket thrown across it. This keeps the plethora of animals that track in and out of the Ugly Brown Chair from further digging into the foam as well as keeping the already loosened bits from sticking in their fur once they have napped and are free to wander about.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmMtst1RZLIId2pRITjLIX_uvnbgrUEAR5-nM278nFvTydxYfAzTC5wALiHaGvoZTXuvEl7PSiq79Sno8ix4sK91jwMzf_n0O5GhkLNRe5Y1m9UT1SMmIisMeQVgU0DyMBU3B6FhdFoDU/s640/blogger-image--2011795545.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmMtst1RZLIId2pRITjLIX_uvnbgrUEAR5-nM278nFvTydxYfAzTC5wALiHaGvoZTXuvEl7PSiq79Sno8ix4sK91jwMzf_n0O5GhkLNRe5Y1m9UT1SMmIisMeQVgU0DyMBU3B6FhdFoDU/s640/blogger-image--2011795545.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">A couple of weeks ago, the lovely <a href="http://psb1969.blogspot.com/2013/10/marvelous-magical-meg.html" target="_blank">Meg</a> was in town. I met up with her and our mutual friend Jacquie for lunch. Meg told us that she'd probably have another friend with her...Robby. Robby is a very talented interior design guru. Also, a very nice guy. We got to see some photos of his work. I was very impressed...he was a guy that salvages a lot of used things to make very beautiful, eclectic room re-dos. He had pictures of a whole fireplace wall/mantle thingy made entirely of old pallet wood. It was awesome.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">After our lunch, I got to thinking...maybe Robby could provide me some insight on what to do with Ugly Brown Chair that would preserve its usefulness, coolness and comfort while helping it not be so...well...ugly.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I texted Meg and told her that I would send her some pictures if she would be so kind as to forward them to Robby for his expert opinion.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I took off the protective ESPN blanket covering to give him the full perspective:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2FNie2yn3PduHmgfI1hXc5jeu4sJUVJZPP0-E7tEH3tBNSL1x4gZi3U99f79cFZXT_gR4cVSj7jlFcWtZ3RuRHWRNgA124braubKIJ_oGKUQnALJBBKWX6_tGZtg33F4M0QTXVp88AFQ/s640/blogger-image-626825258.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2FNie2yn3PduHmgfI1hXc5jeu4sJUVJZPP0-E7tEH3tBNSL1x4gZi3U99f79cFZXT_gR4cVSj7jlFcWtZ3RuRHWRNgA124braubKIJ_oGKUQnALJBBKWX6_tGZtg33F4M0QTXVp88AFQ/s640/blogger-image-626825258.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvDr9PkNRsLXC5dl0RwhI3KAgYOMzTYooI1EIwd_AwOE1n1oyU8JiPBYLfdpK-wpXy1wIkbejmBoiLbzM68tNRKh8kRN-QRKrj5iqEWL-_avFjNi_qKFNj8Z3UTVw7ki0-frMGJcaD0oU/s640/blogger-image--889201919.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvDr9PkNRsLXC5dl0RwhI3KAgYOMzTYooI1EIwd_AwOE1n1oyU8JiPBYLfdpK-wpXy1wIkbejmBoiLbzM68tNRKh8kRN-QRKrj5iqEWL-_avFjNi_qKFNj8Z3UTVw7ki0-frMGJcaD0oU/s640/blogger-image--889201919.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was told that the kindest thing I could do was give Ugly Brown Chair a mercy killing.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">So now I have to ask those of you out there who are reading this...is there naught to be done to save UBC?</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjvsY_PM3dmv34nl1mXliKWl3pUW3zcShf-nBJUNZRPTOock9O_pAz7AaAYRyGpLhtcosT1KwNyQevpHnRk7zwefW8TvLY5Twd-0Z5AzKKaoTMv2yw71thNDPAy19_8zZAUZCiU5pmz1Y/s640/blogger-image--401489961.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2234661885127647580.post-900368251379179822015-07-06T10:34:00.002-07:002015-07-06T14:06:45.582-07:00Airing your laundry<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCc-su-IGdF8H1BmRta6ik0Uspj5_b7T67gqYR2BSekT68vHAKtsuc7HkjT1hBjko4W3_2YU7aZ1gTbxwuGvwtXweCF_nhv8EDSjF_fvv5YXdzkCpyZJNcj7fRD-6a633VMbV9cnPZtYE/s640/blogger-image--761715429.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCc-su-IGdF8H1BmRta6ik0Uspj5_b7T67gqYR2BSekT68vHAKtsuc7HkjT1hBjko4W3_2YU7aZ1gTbxwuGvwtXweCF_nhv8EDSjF_fvv5YXdzkCpyZJNcj7fRD-6a633VMbV9cnPZtYE/s640/blogger-image--761715429.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This may just be my favorite photograph of all time. Left to right we have: My sister Christy, my Granny, my cousin Jackie and myself.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Flapping in the breeze? 3 pairs of my Granny's underpants (or as we called 'em, drawers).</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">We are all on the incredibly unsafe swing set that was in Granny's side yard. That see-saw thingy that Christy and Granny are on? Nearly claimed the last digit of my left pinkie finger. The swings? There's no stinkin' plastic tubing around those links, nosirree. You had to be careful and not let them pinch the hide off of you. It must be fairly new in this picture because all of the plastic caps are still on the ends of the tubing...that was not the case in later years when the sharp, rusty ends were just tetanus looking for a place to happen (plus wasps hid all up in there.) Also?, if Jackie and I got to swinging together, we could get the frame's legs to tilt off the ground. We turned the whole kit and caboodle over more than a few times.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">There is so much I love about this picture and the memories it evokes.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Granny's in her curlers...which means this was probably taken on a Saturday since she was "setting" her hair for church on Sunday.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">There's not a shoe in sight...for any of us. Back in the day, between May and September I had to be forced into footwear of any kind.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">And of course the clothesline in the back...many, many times we'd be playing away and a cloud would come up...then we knew to race into the house for a clothes basket to get the laundry in before it got rained on. Granny didn't use the dryer in the summer...it had to get pretty darn rainy for days for her not to use the clothesline. My favorite thing was when she did the sheets...we'd run up and down between the hung sheets shrieking like banshees...careful not to TOUCH the sheets and get them dirty.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">It's too bad the picture isn't wider or you'd be able to see the trash burning barrel that would have been just a bit further to the left and well behind us. Basically a 55 gallon drum that we burned the household trash in...all of the scraps were thrown out for the possums, anything that wouldn't stink was burned in the burning barrel. I remember keeping the milk jugs back so that once the fire got going good, you could hold them up over the fire and watch them melt. There's really no telling what sorts of fumes I inhaled.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">(Funny story: Once when Christy was in her early 20s, she was visiting a friend's apartment in Atlanta. They had dinner and the friend went to go pick up some ice cream for dessert while Christy cleaned up the kitchen. The apartment was on the second floor and had a balcony. The friend comes back, goes upstairs to the apartment and asks Christy why was there spaghetti in the bushes downstairs...Christy told them that she threw the scraps out. Apparently, not something you do "in the city.")</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15771290296094756296noreply@blogger.com12