Dear pimple on my nose:
Seriously?? What gives?? You realize I am FORTY-FOUR years old, right? Why am I dealing with you? Is this AT ALL necessary?
I had no choice but to mash you...but now you are just redder and sore and I didn't even get anything to pop...I basically just made myself sneeze and my eyes water. And I'll probably have some type of bruise on my nose in the morning. Fabulous.
Oh? And appearing on the day that I had to get the picture for my work badge renewed? The one I will be living with for the next 5 years? That was a nice touch.
Once you start getting wrinkles...you should STOP getting zits. I'm just sayin.