Sunday, April 13, 2014

Corner of chaos

You know that place?  The place in your house where clutter just seems to migrate?  And even when you're doing your "cleaning" you sort of skip over because it's sort of out of the way and not worth diving into at the moment?  That place where little odds and ends of things wind up scooted over to?

In my house, that place is the corner of my kitchen counter over by the phone and the calendar.  You can see this corner and all of its chaotic glory in this picture I had previously posted of Maxx checking the date on the calendar:



A goodly portion of the pile o' crap consisted of paper: cookbooks, takeout menus, steno pads and post-it pads, along with a few magazines and coupon flyers.  The stapler had apparently wandered away from the desk in the study as well.

This weekend, the kiddo was away visiting her future college campus and the variety of sorority spring events...and I decided to tackle the corner of doom and set it to rights.  Once I had the paper-y things cleared out and sorted, stacked or thrown out, I was left with this deitrus:

 
(You can click on the picture for a better view)

I really have no explanation for myself.

So what's in your area?  I'm wondering if anyone can top a magic wand and a jigsaw blade...but I'm curious.

 


 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Let's talk

Dear pimple on my nose:

Seriously??  What gives??  You realize I am FORTY-FOUR years old, right?  Why am I dealing with you? Is this AT ALL necessary?



I had no choice but to mash you...but now you are just redder and sore and I didn't even get anything to pop...I basically just made myself sneeze and my eyes water.  And I'll probably have some type of bruise on my nose in the morning.  Fabulous.

Oh?  And appearing on the day that I had to get the picture for my work badge renewed?  The one I will be living with for the next 5 years?  That was a nice touch.

Once you start getting wrinkles...you should STOP getting zits.  I'm just sayin.



Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Kill Joy

I like to have fun.  I do.  Really.
I don't like ruining a fun time for anyone else...honest.
But sometimes...sometimes, you have to take the scissors away from someone running amok.
When I married Jeff, I knew what I was getting into...and when we decided to procreate, I understood that I'd be getting something with half Jeff's DNA in the equation.
 
And I did.
 
And she is brilliant. And a little dangerous in her brilliance.
And her daddy?  Is her biggest supporter.  And that's GREAT.
 
But when the two of them sit down and watch a Tosh.O episode together where Tosh orders a mini-cannon and uses it to fire a .177" bb into his own fleshy tush? 
And then the child declares "I want one of those to use for my Rube Goldberg physics project!"
And Jeff rubs his hands together and starts chuckling like an evil scientist (or an evil scientist's father for that matter)?
 
Then, it behooves me to step in with a word of caution: "I don't think a mini cannon will be allowed."
 
 
 
But then the next day, the kiddo texts him with a message, "My teacher said the baby cannon is approved! I want a red one! No black!  And I want it ASAP!"
 
And his return message is "Fuse and cannon ordered! Due to be delivered next Monday!"
 
And I'm all: "No. No. No. No!!!"  "Stop!" "This will all end in tears!"
 
And so I'm printing off the spec sheets for the "baby" cannon and making her take it to the principal for approval. (It comes from a site called "Pocket Artillery")
 
It uses black powder.  There's no way these two knuckleheads are going to be able to go through with this.
 
 
P.S. You can also buy guillotines at the same site.  We're not getting one of those either.  The cats have no idea how much they owe me.  Nail clipping would have been a whole new world of terror.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Does anybody really know what time it is?

So, the other weekend, I had something really weird happen. (I know! You're thinking..."something weird happened to you, Marianne?  Impossible!") But it did.

My friend, Dr. J, has spent the last year in New Zealand.  She's been back since November, but with my business travel, her setting up her new practice and visiting her family and spending time with her snuggle-bunny, we haven't had much time to catch up.  So we decided to have a girls' getaway...just the two of us.  It was still a little too cold for the beach...so when I suggested that we go to Jackson, MS to their famous St. Patty's day parade, she was all in.

The St. Patty's day parade in Jackson is something that everyone should experience.  Statistics I've read say that approximately 65,000 attend the St. Patty's parade.  It is big, big fun, believe me.
Me n' the good doctor, toasting our arrival.

We stayed at what used to be the King's Court Hotel...now it's a Hilton Garden Inn.  We had a great stay Friday night, and a good time at the parade the next day. Hopefully I can get another more elaborate post on our actual trip...but this post is about the weird thing that happened.
After the parade, we ended up...as many people do, at Hal & Mal's.  We were incredibly lucky and scored a table.  We had just settled in and ordered a beer when a young man approached us and asked if he and a friend could share the table.
We had seen this fellow around and about our hotel over the past day & a half...and so agreed...it was SO freakin' crowded, it would have been a shame to waste the half of a table we weren't using.
Anyway, he goes and gets his friend...who turns out to be a really nice, pleasant, entertaining older fellow.  Here's a couple of pictures of him:




Picture courtesy of Marianne's iPhone


Picture courtesy of Marianne's iPhone

We chatted for awhile...he asked what we did (Doctor and Engineer) and then several questions about our careers.  He told us that the young friend he was with was in town and was working on the production of a Lifetime reality show being shot in Jackson (Bring It!).  We thought that was all very cool.  And plausible...we'd seen the young guy, Kevin, with a group of folks that could certainly be a "crew" of some sort.  The older guy (he'd already introduced himself as "Danny") told us that he was retired.
By and by, we asked him what he was retired from & he told us that he used to be the drummer for Chicago.  Wow!  We were VERY impressed.  He regaled us with many tales once we started pressing for them...but he in no way acted bragg-y or anything.  Throughout the evening, several groups of people that worked with Kevin stopped in...all of them hugging Danny's neck and introducing him to people they knew.
We asked Danny how he ended up in Jackson, Mississippi and  he told us that he had spent the last few years of his life living in Costa Rica...he had decided after his wife's death that he wanted to make a 3 month tour via train from Los Angeles to New York.  He said that about a month ago, during this trek across our nation, he had a mild stroke about an hour outside of Jackson.  He was taken to Jackson and treated and had been encouraged to take a sojourn for awhile before resuming his travels. Danny insisted on paying for our check, and caught a ride back to the hotel with us.  He'd been walking all day, it was raining, he was recovering from a stroke, so sure...
Once we got back to the hotel, I went up, changed clothes and came back down to the lobby.  Danny was sitting in the lobby, looking very unwell as a lady took his pulse (turns out she was a nurse).  An ambulance had been called and several of the staff were scurrying around...getting him a glass of water...checking on the status of the ambulance, etc.  Just listening to them I could tell that he indeed HAD been a guest at the hotel for several weeks and everyone liked him....everyone was, like me, a little impressed that here he was...someone sort-of famous.  They repeated his name SEVERAL times in my hearing...Danny Seraphine.
But here's the thing...when Dr.J and I traveled back the next day, I had the opportunity to actually look up "Danny" from the band Chicago...and yes, Danny Seraphine was the drummer for Chicago.  He was also playing a gig in Scotsdale, Arizona on the same weekend that we'd met "Danny" the recovering stroke victim in Jackson, MS.
Here are some Internet images I found of Danny Seraphine:

Picture courtesy of drummerworld.com


I think the only thing authentic about the Danny I met was the Kangol he was sporting.

So, I'm confused.  If you're going to pretend to be somebody...why pick the ex-drummer from a pretty good band from 30 years ago?  And why not have your details right (Danny Seraphine never lived in Costa Rica and is 65; our guy talked endlessly about Costa Rica and repeatedly told us he was 70).
I still have an interesting story to tell...just one with a very perplexing ending.



Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Snail mail

Text to my sister's husband last night:


Hi, D. It's me...your birthday card. Just sittin on the counter with my friend, the Yankee candle...where I've been for nearly 2 months now. I don't know what is wrong with your idiot sister-in-law that she can't remember to buy a freaking stamp to mail me with. She even went to the post office last Tuesday to mail some scholarship packets off. She didn't remember she needed stamps until she came home and threw her keys down on me...again. Well, sorry I'm not with you yet. Maybe some day, some how, I will find my way to you.
P.S. Gift card says "Hi!"

I'm pathetic.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

This n' That


THIS is a broken Waterford water goblet, pattern: Maeve.  The pattern is retired because OF COURSE IT IS.



 
THAT (below) is Maxx, the prime suspect in the misconduct that lead to the breaking of the water goblet. 




 

THIS is Maxx checking the calendar, apparently to see when the Replacements.com shipment was made.



THAT (below) is the $99.95 replacement goblet from Replacements.com

 
 
And THIS is where my crystal has lived for the last 24 years without mishap...

 
The current theory is that a moth or some other kind of bug got in...and in an attempt to protect his family from whatever vile disease or toxin the insect was certainly equipped to deliver, Maxx scaled the china hutch to reach his enemy.
And now he knows he can. So he does...ever vigilant, he checks the ceiling above the hutch ever so often.
Now I need a place to move it out of potential harms way.  And THAT is what I am about to go do.



Wednesday, March 19, 2014