Monday, March 3, 2014


Sometimes I look around me and positively cringe at how lazy our society has become.  Now, don't get me wrong...I'm all for rest and relaxation...eating, drinking and being merry and all that...AFTER you've done something meaningful with yourself and have earned your R&R.  A balance, if you will.

But over the past several years, I have noticed a growing trend of products out on the market that can only appeal to the portion of our population afflicted by LTS* (lazy turd syndrome).  Examples:

- For those of us afraid to touch our own toilets: the toilet wand thingy...holding the end of a wand, you click the other end onto a scrubbing head...swish it around in the toilet and then "click" discard the head into the trash.

-Tubs of mashed potatoes that SAY they are made from potato flakes...because the potato flakes were too hard to use?  I don't get it.

-The new insurance commercials that make fun of losers who actually waste 15 MINUTES getting insurance quotes, when they can deliver quotes in 7 1/2 minutes.  Really?  Is that where we are?

Sadly, it appears that we ARE in the throes of a LTS epidemic.  I was absolutely flabbergasted when I saw this in my grocery store this weekend:

Yes.  Pot-sized pasta for those out there who cannot manage to break their own spaghetti in half.  I can only interpret this as the harbinger of doom that it clearly is.  Is this the signal that we have reached some sort of event horizon of sorriness and will now hopelessly spiral into the black hole abyss of ultimate sloth?
Or is there still hope?  Can we still hope to shuck off the mantle of LTS, cast aside our containers of pre-sliced onions and peppers, firmly grasp our cleaning brushes and actually scrub our own showers clean?
I beseech each of something today...something that you don't particularly love doing...but do it anyway...with your own two hands.
Cut up your own fruit.  Skewer your own kebabs.  At least, for the LOVE. OF. GOD. break your own pasta to fit your pot.

*LTS: Lazy Turd Syndrome is a phrase first coined by my friend (and the big boss-man over the location where I work), Tim G.  It's the perfect description...and I have to give credit where it is due.


  1. Hey! I was raging about that pasta last week! Small world.
    (PS: Hi! Here via The Bloggess. :))

    1. So happy you stopped by! The other day (after I wrote this post) I bought some pasta sauce that had a "use now" coupon on it for 75 cents off of the pot-sized pasta...I still didn't buy it just on principle.