So this morning, I had breakfast with Jeff at IHOP. I was sitting there eating my delicious buttered-with-some-type-of-unwholesome-product toast when I. SAW. HIM:
Isn't he wonderful? Isn't he breathtaking? He was next door at the antiques shop. After paying our tab at IHOP, we went for a closer look. The store wasn't even open yet...he was just one of the things that they left outside 24/7. His tag said he was marked down from $149 to $129. I fell instantly and totally in love with him. Jeff liked the monkey...but not exactly worth the money. Keep in mind that this is the man who had zero respect for my dancing bears painting:
Which I had absolutely COVETED for years at my friend Lori's house. Fortunately for me, Lori bequethed me my portrait of the conga-line of bears (it's actually called The Bear Dance by William Holbrook Beard, and is actual ART thankyouverymuch) so it didn't cost me anything.
When I went to work the next day, I decided I'd call and see if there was any bargaining room on the monkey...I hadn't stopped thinking about him since our parting. I got the manager on the line...and he said he thought they could reduce the price to $99. Then he asked me to hold on...he needed to go get the code on the tag. When he came back he told me THE MONKEY WAS GONE!
I called Jeff & told him that my monkey was sold & asked him if he had, by chance purchased this delightful creature for me. To which he replied, "Did I buy you a $130 monkey? Uh, no."