Tuesday, December 23, 2014


I am good at a lot of things.
I can do many home repairs myself (I have replaced the drive gear in my garage door opener, the transmission in my washing machine and just recently, unclogged the kitchen sink).
 I'm a fairly good cook. My chili has been praised by some seriously picky folks...and my chicken ring is legendary.
I'm a good engineer.
I'm pretty proud of the job I've done as a mother (for the most part. I don't think you're human if you haven't, at some point or another completely blown it as a parent...or at least think you have.)
I'm a pretty good wife (25 years, baby! Gotta be doing something right).

However, there are things I am bad at, and when I am bad at something, I'm abysmal.
I cannot sew. Jeff does ALL clothing repairs. I seriously cannot sew a button on.
I cannot work the multifunction TV/cable/DVR/blueray remote. (Yes, I'm still an engineer. Shut up.)
I cannot manage a packing tape dispenser. (Leave me in the room with a box and a packing tape dispenser, come back in 5 minutes and it will look like I tried to take myself hostage.)

Annnnnd, new research to the list... I cannot ball a melon.
I'm not even sure that's what you call it. It sounds kinda dirty when you just type it out there like that.
Here's some pictorial evidence

I was TRYING to bring something healthy to a party recently. I thought a fruit tray would be nice. I had grapes and strawberries and raspberries...and melon blobs. (The one in the center that looks almost spherical? I flipped that one over. It was just as bad on the other side).

I need someone to explain to me where I went wrong.
See the green utensil by the melon? That's what I was using. It was specifically made for balling melons (again, my terminology sounds like something that's illegal in the state of Alabama)"

Plus, I feel like I really wasted a lot of quality melon bits trying to get the little balls to come out right.
Suggestions anyone?

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